Parenting - All I Want for Christmas Is ....

Christmas has been on my mind a lot recently! I know that isn't exactly a profound revelation given that we are in the thick of the holiday season, but I've been seriously preoccupied this year with the whole notion of how we do Christmas.

I started months ago begging my adult children for their "Christmas lists" so that I would know how to purchase for them. They had trouble getting those lists to me; the response to the question, "What do you want for Christmas?" was generally, "I don't know."

As the actual shopping for just the right gifts commenced, I just got irritated. I love my family, I want to give them "good gifts," but the feeling I had was that these kids have everything they need and a whole lot of what they want. They are blessed to be well-educated and well-employed; those material blessings extend to my grandchild. She really doesn't need yet another toy. This "shopping binge" resembled the feeling I have when I over-indulge in some decadent dessert - it was great while I was doing it, but when it was over, not so much! Too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing.

I examined why I was feeling so Scrooge-like about Christmas and decided it had something to do with what's going on in the world around us - growing numbers of people we know without jobs, people losing their homes, folks without health insurance. You get the idea. I am blessed to be able to actually have the "worry" of what to buy family and friends because I have the means to do so. In light of the real problems others are facing, my angst over gift-giving seems rather trivial.

I know I sound like a real Grinch; I'm not. Once I got into the swing of things, I bought gifts that I do hope my family and friends will enjoy. I look forward to giving those gifts and seeing them opened on Christmas morning, but the best part of the day will be the time we spend together and the memories we create.

But even though I will give and receive gifts and will cherish the time with family and friends, here's what I really want for Christmas. I want to know - deeply understand - what it meant for Jesus to leave Heaven to take the most hazardous journey human beings can take - natural birth - to experience life both as God and man.

I want to understand that Mary and Joseph didn't commit to the romanticized version of the Christmas story we've grown up with, but rather to a life they knew would lead to ridicule from their society and most likely a "you're on your own" birth of their first child in conditions far less than ideal. They may have been visited by adoring shepherds and wise men and angels, but they also had to run from their homeland to live as refugees to protect that child. Mary and Joseph knew that being chosen by God for this most sacred appointment did not mean living the life of privilege; they learned what it means to live by faith, to listen to messengers sent from God, to parent not only as earthly parents but also as parents submitted to God's direction and plan for their very "unique" son Jesus.

I want to be so altered in my thinking about Christmas that I grasp more completely that Jesus came for all mankind, not just those who look like me, behave as I do, have what I have (or more), or are otherwise pleasing to my way of thinking. I want to understand to the point of putting into action that Jesus came to "...save that which was lost" (Matthew 18:11). When Jesus returns, I want to have been found faithful, I want him to be able to put me in with the "sheep" who fed the hungry and gave the thirsty something to drink; who clothed those needing clothing and visited the sick and imprisoned (Matthew 25:31-46).

I am thankful for all my material blessings, but I want to possess a heart full of thanksgiving for the gift of a Savior, for the promise of eternal life. I want to be so transformed in my thinking that every day I will be submitted to serve the One who came to serve. For me, if I can become that person, I will have come to understand Christmas and will celebrate it each day. I will have received the greatest gift ever!

Mary Did You Know - Mark Lowry

Heavenly Father, thank you for unconditional love and your desire to so want us to be restored to your family that you made the ultimate sacrifice - the gift of your son Jesus, his life, that we might be saved and spend all eternity with you. I pray that each day I will celebrate by seeking to serve you and others, to give back for all you have given me.

Parenting - There's a Hole in the Bucket!

I am re-reading Richard Stearns' The Hole in Our Gospel and somehow made one of those strange brain connections to an old children's song "There's a Hole in the Bucket." Now the song is stuck in my head, and I don't think it will stop playing until I do something with those lyrics!

The gist of the song, for those of you far too young to remember it, is a conversation between Henry and Liza regarding a hole in Henry's bucket. Liza suggests that Henry repair the hole by using straw, but Henry says the straw is too long. Liza suggests cutting the straw, but Henry isn't sure what to use to make the cut. Liza recommends he use his ax, but Henry says it's not sharp enough; Liza tells him to sharpen it, he doesn't know what to use. She tells him to use a stone; he counters with the fact that the stone is too dry, so Liza tells him to wet the stone. Well, you can imagine the outcome. Henry can't wet the stone because there's a hole in the bucket; thus, he can't draw water into the bucket and on and on and on.

I have always hated that song! Henry isn't exactly a problem-solver or a creative thinker and really doesn't appear to be too motivated to remedy what, back in the day, was a real problem - he had a hole in his bucket!

Other than the similarities in title, the connection between "There's a Hole in the Bucket" and The Hole in Our Gospel may not be particularly obvious. Stearns believes that as Christians we have a gaping hole that prevents us from fulfilling the purpose for which we are called. In effect, we have the "bucket," our salvation, but it isn't functioning as intended because we fail to make our faith public; too many of us aren't committed to being "Jesus with skin on" so that those who don't know Christ can learn who He is through what we say and do. That's the hole that is making the bucket far from useful.

When Jesus ascended into Heaven, he issued this commission to his disciples: "And He said to them, Go into all the world and preach and publish openly the good news (the Gospel) to every creature [of the whole human race]" (Mark 16:15). If this command had been to His apostles only, you and I may never have heard of the Good News; therefore, we must assume that God intends for all of us who are His disciples to "preach and publish openly" to others just as someone did for us.

As parents, the most important people with whom we want to share the Gospel is with our children. Our children learn most powerfully from us. Actively living our faith before them is critical if they are to embrace Christianity for themselves. Children are like Henry's bucket; we can fill them to the brim with the knowledge and understanding of who God is so that they are fulfilling their purpose and are useful, or we can stand around, wring our hands, come up with excuses for why we can't.

Each of us has a place that only God can fill. If we don't fill it with Him, we will fill it with other things. We will never be satisfied; our "bucket" won't hold water. Our children are just like us. If we don't teach them what should go into their bucket, they will attempt to fill it. Their world (and ours) offers them plenty of substitutes, but there is nothing that replaces the love of God in their lives.

Instead of hoping that our children will come to salvation "by osmosis," let's seal the hole in our Gospel by actively leading them to Christ so that one day we aren't like Henry wondering what to do about the holes in their buckets.

Lord, light a fire under us! Help us to get active in our faith, taking up the cross, following You, and telling our children and others about You. It's not enough to just hope that our children will one day live for You; we must disciple them so they will choose to live for You and in turn disciple others.

Thank You for the opportunity to lead our children to a relationship with You. Amen.

Parenting - Raising Oak Trees or Tumbleweeds

When I was young, I experienced one of the great hurricanes to hit south Texas. We lived about 100 miles inland in a big two-storied house with a wrap around porch. The yard was expansive and was shaded by centuries-old oak trees. When the horrific winds of the hurricane blew inland, those magnificent trees literally bent to the ground, but they weren't uprooted or destroyed. Their deep-rooted strength held them firm through the relentless battering.

In Jeremiah 17, we are given a warning about what happens when we put our trust in people rather than in God. Jeremiah says that the person who ignores God and places his faith in man will be "...like a tumbleweed on the prairie, out of touch with the good earth...living rootless and aimless in a land where nothing grows" (Jeremiah 17:5-6).

On the other hand, the person who trusts and has his hope in the Lord will be "...like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers— never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf, serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season" (Jeremiah 17:7-8).

This message is one that parents must take to heart. Children are like trees. We can choose to plant them in fertile soil where they will be nourished and grow deep roots to sustain them, or we can put them in the ground to grow with little attention, resulting in a plant that withers and dies or becomes tumbleweed that is subject to the winds that blow.

A tree that is healthy is one that is planted in the right place to get the maximum nourishment and support from its environment. When a tree is first planted, it needs nutrients and water from sources other than the ground. It gets regular attention to remove disease or insects that might harm its growth potential. A healthy young tree is sometimes staked to protect it from wind, but eventually the support is removed so the tree can develop resiliency to withstand the winds. Trees that take root and grow strong are those that have been pruned and have had the "sucker plants" removed in just the right way and at just the right time of development. The trees that stand through the centuries are those that have been shaped for their purpose; they have survived where others have not.

From the moment a child enters our lives, we must begin the "husbandry" necessary to ensure that they are deeply rooted in Christ. This is intentional and on-going. Our role is to ensure that they are being "fed" God's word, that it is being deeply rooted in their hearts (Psalm 119:11) and that they are "planted" in a place that is appropriate to their lifetime sustenance (Psalm 1). We have the solemn responsibility of providing Godly support for our children, protecting them from the storms of life, while teaching them that God is their strength, always present to help (Psalm 46:1). Our role includes being the gardener who prunes and shapes our children that they might become who they are uniquely designed to be. We do this through the principles by which we live, by correction, discipline, and boundaries we set, and by the ways in which we feed their souls with our words and actions (Proverbs 3:11-12, Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 19:18, Proverbs 22:6,15, Proverbs 29:15, 17, Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21).

There's a reason I don't garden; it's hard work and takes time. Parenting is hard work and takes time, but parenting is also investing in the lives of our children so that when they are no longer in our direct care, they will have deep roots in the environment that will sustain them. They will be like those massive oak trees that took the hurricane force winds - they will bend, but they won't break because their strength comes from God (Psalm 121:2). They will be trees planted by the water, not tumbleweed blowing aimlessly in the wind.

Heavenly Father, thank you for being the Master Gardener in our lives. If we submit ourselves to your husbandry, we will never lack for nourishment; we will be deeply rooted in You, unmovable and bearing fruit.

Grant us the wisdom to raise our children so that they too develop deep roots in You, with faith in You to stand firm and strong no matter what life brings them.

We praise and thank You, Lord. Amen.

Love - No Greater Gift

When I learned I was to be a grandmother for the first time, I could hardly wait for the moment when Hadley Grace would make her debut. Even before she was born, my heart began to make a very special place for her. I loved her before I knew her, and from the moment she was born, I fell head over heals in love. I am shamelessly a smitten grandma! Hadley "owns" me!

Hadley's going to be a big sister soon. When I first heard the news, I wondered how I could ever love another grandchild as much as I love Hadley, but then I realized, he already has a place in my heart. He's already loved, and the love I have for him isn't taking away from the love I have for his big sister. My "love capacity" is simply increasing; I have room and space for more! These grandchildren - however many I am blessed to have - will all be my favorites and will have all my love.

I think our capacity to love is a gift from God. I can only imagine how much God loves each of us. He doesn't panic every time another one of us is born, wondering if He has enough love to go around; He doesn't wonder if He can love me as much as He loves someone else. The love God has for each of us is unlimited, it is unconditional, and it's never-failing. He knows us from our very beginning, He's wildly in love with us, and He wants only His best for us.

A familiar verse in the Bible says it like this, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16; I John 3:16). This gift is for each of us; no one is left out. His gift of love doesn't run dry; He has an unlimited supply. Because He loves us, we are his children (I John 3:1), and we have life through Him (I John 4:9). God loves us so much that He gave his son as a sacrifice for us that we might be restored into relationship with Him (I John 4:10). He made His love for us "real" in the gift He gave: "But God demonstrates his love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). We don't have to worry about whether or not God will stop loving us. Nothing can separate us from his love (Romans 8:38-39).

As we enter the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday seasons, we will have gift giving on our minds. The greatest gift that we can extend to another person is the gift of love. That may mean we learn to love ourselves and accept God's love for us. It may mean showing love to someone difficult to love or someone we don't even know. The bottom line is this - God gave us the capacity to love others so we can show (and know) unlimited love for Him, for others, and even for ourselves.

"Greater love has no one than this,
than to lay down one's life for his friends"
(John 15:13).

No Greater Love by Rachel Lampa

Thank you, Lord, for loving us unconditionally and without reservation. Please help us to learn to love as You love and to share the love You have given us with others. Help us to be generous in demonstrating your love.

Serving Others from Our "Need"

Do you marvel sometimes at what some people are able to accomplish with what appears to be so few resources? I've known women who created some of the best meals with what appeared to be next to nothing - real soul food - to feed the "hungry" who arrived unannounced, just in time for dinner. I've known people who lacked the polish of world-renowned ministers yet they won hundreds of people to the Lord. These followers of the Gospel served from their insufficiency, and God provided the abundance.

On two occasions, Jesus fed multitudes of men, women, and children with a few small fish and a few loaves of bread (Mark 6:32-44; Mark 8:1-9). He took "a little" and made it "much."

Both times when Jesus fed the multitudes, he and his disciples were tired, searching for some quiet time. Jesus had been teaching, preaching, and healing, and the people just kept coming to Him. He looked on them with a heart of compassion and saw their need - they were hungry, both physically and spiritually. He served from his place of need - he was tired; he needed time alone with his Father - but Jesus came to serve.

The first time Jesus fed the multitudes, his disciples wanted to send the people away to buy their own food; they weren't up for spending their money to feed them (Mark 6:37). Jesus asked what resources were available; the disciples had one little boy with 5 loaves of bread and 2 small fish. The disciples organized the people into groups, Jesus gave thanks for the loaves and fish, and then told the disciples to serve the people. All there ate until they were full; the leftovers filled 12 baskets!

When Jesus performed the "something from nothing" miracle again, the disciples had already seen him feed the 5,000 men (not counting the women and children) and walk on water; yet when He commanded them to feed the people, the disciples still wondered where they were going to find food for that many people in such a remote area! This time Jesus had 7 loaves and a few fish to work with, and again, He did what only He can do - He multiplied what seemed to be insufficient supplies and fed 4,000 men (plus women and children) until they were filled, with food to spare.

God never wastes an opportunity to teach us that He takes what we have to offer, as insignificant as it seems, and multiplies it to meet needs and to demonstrate His love. We may be the little boy who offered his 5 loaves and 2 small fish, or we may be the doubting, not-quite-ready for service disciples who didn't fully understand who their source was. Whoever we are, wherever we are in our walk with the Lord, God wants to use us. Our "basket" may seem empty of the ingredients necessary to feed those in need, but God is able to take what's there and create a meal sufficient to fill the hungry. All He requires is our faith and our obedience and our willingness to give from our limited resources. He does the rest.

As we enter this time of Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations, let's seek ways to serve others. Just as Jesus called his disciples to feed his sheep, we are called. When we yield our resources to God, we can expect Him to provide the increase, meet the needs of others, and reveal more of who He is. He will be glorified, and we will learn the miracle of servanthood and the blessings of sacrifice.

"Little is much, when God is in it."

God, You are good all the time. You're abundance is sufficient to multiply our limited supply. All you require is a servant's heart; You do the rest.

We pray that You will touch our hearts, show us where we are needed to serve, and then use us to help others. We are blessed; please put in us a desire to serve You by serving others, to use what You have given us that others might know You.

We ask all this in Your name. Amen.

Parenting - Being a Sacrifice

The words of a song I grew up listening to started running through my mind today - "Just suppose God searched through heaven, and couldn't find one willing to be, the supreme sacrifice that was needed, that would buy eternal life for you and me...." So, just suppose with me that God couldn't find anyone willing to leave heaven to live on earth and endure real hardships that ended in unjustified torture and death on a cross just so those same people - and all the rest of us - could be restored to God's family and have the eternal life which we were intended to live. How many of us would trade the "comforts of home" for the sake of people we don't know and some we do know?

But, of course, we don't have to suppose any such thing because we know that the Supreme Sacrifice was found and obediently gave up his life with his Father to live on earth among people just like us. Jesus lived a human existence. He knew hardships that I can't say I've experienced and some that I have. He died for something He didn't do. He sacrificed for people who don't always have the sense to fully appreciate what He gave up. He did all this because He was obedient to the cross, because we needed a perfect sacrifice if we were to be saved. God so loved us that He gave his only Son.

I have a comfortable home, my real needs are met, and I have stuff, but deep down inside, I don't want to be asked to sacrifice because I'm afraid of what God might ask of me. I have run like a maniac from the thought that God might call me into some kind of ministry (translate "missionary" or "preacher") because to me that is all about giving up stuff, the "comforts of home." Yet, I want the security of God's hand on my life and that of my family.

Lately, I've been thinking how arrogant we are to think that we can have God's blessings without living sacrificially. After all, He gave his Son for us; why should we be exempt from sacrifice? God doesn't ask us necessarily to live a life of poverty, but He does ask that we give our lives as living sacrifices, and that's going to look different for each of us because He has designed each of us for a divine purpose.

As parents, our children are watching our lives. They see whether or not we are "living sacrifices" or if we are "Christians of convenience." The times when we make the tough choice to do that "hard thing" God asks of us will be the times our children remember and draw from when life challenges them. How we respond to God's calling, His prompting in our lives, will set the stage for how our children will respond when they are called to give their lives to the Lord.

Let's proclaim as Joshua did: "...choose you this day whom ye will serve...; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:14-15)." This may mean sacrifice, but our reward is great, and God promises to provide for all our needs (also see Philippians 4:19) and be the strength we need to do all He asks of us.

Lord, I have so much to learn about living sacrificially. You have blessed me more than I can even tell. I owe you nothing less than my obedience to your desires for my life.

Please help us to give you first place in our lives. Help us to live before our children the joy of giving and the faith in knowing that You reward those who diligently seek You.

Lord, help us daily to give sacrificially of ourselves to those around us that they might see You and come to know you as their Lord and Savior. This we pray in your name, Amen.

Parenting - Fast Food or Home Cookin'

It’s kind of difficult to imagine a day when feeding a family required growing the ingredients, preserving them for future use, and starting the actual meal as the sun was coming up because it was going to take that long for the whole thing to come together and be ready when the family walked through the door hungry – and that was just breakfast! Admittedly, I’m glad I didn’t have to go through all that to feed my family, but my girls do know the difference between fast food and “cooking from scratch”! I am blessed to have been raised among some pretty good cooks. My grandmother’s homemade rolls were coveted by anyone who’d ever had them; my mom’s banana cake is the best I’ve ever eaten; and bless those sainted southern women who pulled out all the stops for those Sunday dinner-on-the-ground meals (we prayed the preacher would cut it short so we could eat!). That heritage drove me to try to learn to cook like those women and preserve their skills.

I wish I could say I mastered their effortless talents in the kitchen. After years of practice, I can make acceptable hot rolls, cinnamon rolls, and blackberry cobbler, and I can finesse my way around a kitchen to make plain home cooking, but I still don’t have their ability to just throw stuff in bowl without looking at a recipe and produce “heaven on a plate.” That comes from daily practice over years of feeding a family without the modern conveniences of pre-packaged foods, fast food restaurants, and microwaves. Home cookin’ takes time and work, and no substitutes can match the results.

Another lesson I learned from those women is that there’s no fast way to learn to walk with the Lord. That too comes from daily practice, year after year. There’s no substitute for the time spent growing and preserving the “ingredients” that make for a strong Christian life that provides the nourishment necessary for every moment of each day.

In our instant everything world, we may be tempted to practice “drive-through” time with our Father. I wonder if we don’t expect to drive up to the order board, tell God what we want, and pull up to the window and have Him hand us a bag with the answer in it. Do we expect to develop our spiritual strength by filling up on “fast-food” experiences that we consume hurriedly as we rush from one appointment to another?

The women who fed me “home cookin’” are the same women whose lives showed me what it means to become in every sense of the word a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ. There’s no substitute for the time it takes to learn the “ingredients of God’s word” and how He puts them together to make a “meal worth eating.” They experienced both joy and suffering, making them strong and developing in them big, bold, unwavering faith. They gained the strength to stand firm in whom they believed (Romans 8:38-39; II Timothy 1:12), and what a lesson that has been for me.

As we go about “feeding” our children each day, let’s consider what they are learning from us. Do they see us rush through the day as fast-food consumers of God’s word and time with Him, or do they observe us spending time “cooking from scratch,” allowing Him to nourish us?

If it’s true that we are what we eat, I pray that we will choose to eat from the Bread of Life and share the love for His “home cookin’” with our children.

Lord, we don't want to be "fast-food" Christians. We want to spend time with You allowing You to feed and nurture us so that we grow strong in You. Please let us be mindful that we are setting an example that our children will follow. Help us to give them the recipe for "strong bodies" - time spent with You and in your word.

Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional and bountiful love for us.