Parenting - Wisdom's Training Ground

When I read through the story of Solomon asking God for wisdom, I related to him. His realization that he had just been designated king of God's chosen people seemed not too unlike mine when I learned I was to become a parent for the first time. What did I know about being a mom! All kinds of questions and fears popped into my head, but obviously, there was no going back; I was going to be a mom, and that wasn't going to change any time soon. Solomon was about to be king, and he needed "just-in-time learning" from the one who called him! Little did I know, as a mom, I too would need that kind of "learning intervention" almost daily.

Solomon had a special visitation. God appeared to him in a dream inviting Solomon to ask anything from Him. Solomon's response is worth noting. First, he acknowledged that God is faithful (I King 3:6) because God showed mercy and kindness to David, Solomon's father, by making his son king. Then, Solomon admitted his need: "...but I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties." Solomon realized that he had just been called to be leader to a people who God had chosen and with whom He had made a covenant. He was not to be just any king; he was the king to God's children. He knew that to lead these people, he would need more than his human abilities; he would need divine intervention. So, he asked for "...an understanding (God-leaning) heart..." and to be able to "...discern between good and bad. (I Kings 3:9)"

The events that follow just after Solomon's encounter with God put him right in the middle of a situation where he had to exercise his new "wisdom muscles." Two women - harlots, according to the Bible - came before him requesting that he determine which of them was the actual mother to the child they had with them. Each woman protested that she was the birth mother, and no witness existed to provide evidence supporting one or the other. Solomon made sure he had the story straight and then requested that a sword be brought out to divide the child, giving each woman a half of the child. One woman plead for the life of the child, relinquishing her claim to him so he might live, and the other thought this rather extreme solution sounded pretty fair. Based upon their reactions, Solomon deduced who truly was the mother and awarded the child to the one who plead for his life.

Something that struck me as I read the exchange between the two women and Solomon was that as king, he could have chosen not to mediate because he could have seen them as not worth his time. They were harlots. Instead of discounting their dispute, he judged wisely. Solomon's actions as a wise and just king awed his people and they respected him.

So much can be learned from just this one story. Like Solomon, when we become parents, we have to admit, we don't have any idea what we're doing, and yet we have entered into a role that supersedes all others. We need wisdom; we need God's help!

When our children come to us - usually on those days when we are totally frazzled - with one of their "did/did not" disputes, we may be quick to send them away with a short retort, and understandably so. But these times may be the ones where we say a quick prayer for patience and wisdom. Our kids watch us, just as Solomon's people watched him, and they learn about wisdom and justice from how we deal with their disputes. And, these situations that seem so annoying to us are the training grounds God uses to build our "wisdom muscles."

God promises to give us what we need. James 1:5 specifically addresses our need for wisdom: "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." When we feel uncertain, we can stand firm in our knowledge that God keeps His promises, He is faithful, and He does not withhold any of His good gifts from us (Luke 11:9-10; 11-13). Proverbs 3:5-6 provides direction: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

We won't just automatically become wise, but God will give us opportunities to need wisdom and will provide the answers we need. As our children grow, we will need deeper wisdom; thankfully God starts us with the "small stuff" in preparation for the bigger situations that will come.

Lord, I'm so thankful that you equip us to serve You, that you provide the wisdom we need for all situations.

Thank you for allowing us to parent our children. Please strengthen us as we call on You and rely on You. Teach us Your ways, and be ever present, guiding us as we teach our children about You.

Parenting - The Care and Feeding of Sheep

In John 21, Jesus appears to his disciples while they are out fishing. They haven't caught anything, although they'd been at it all night. From the shore, Jesus suggests they cast their nets on the other side of the boat, which they do, and they catch so many fish they had to drag the net behind them to shore. When they arrive on the shore, Jesus has breakfast ready for them and invites them to, "Come and dine. (v. 12)"

While they are eating, Jesus asks Peter, "...do you truly love me more than these," to which Peter responded, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus then said to Peter, "Feed my lambs." This exchange between Jesus and Peter is repeated three times, with Peter becoming a bit more uncomfortable with each repetition.

The formerly brash, self-assured Peter is much more reserved in his proclamation of his love and seems a bit unsure of his abilities to fulfill successfully the charge that Jesus is giving. He’s still grieving his betrayal of Christ; yet, even though Peter was unsure of his ability to be faithful, Jesus knew otherwise. He called this fisherman to become a shepherd and feed sheep.

Throughout the Bible, we are compared to sheep and Jesus to our Shepherd. When Jesus asked Peter to feed His sheep, he was placing in Peter's care His children. This was no small calling; Peter, as well as any of us who have responsibility over others, was being commissioned to serve and to care for Jesus' flock. As parents, we are shepherds to our children.

A shepherd takes the care and keeping of his flock quite seriously. Psalm 23 talks of the Lord being our shepherd and how he cares for us, His sheep. In verse 4, David proclaims, "...your rod and your staff, they comfort me." This is a powerful image because the comfort from the rod and staff comes after much personal investment on the part of the shepherd.

A young shepherd carefully chooses and crafts his rod and staff; they are the essential tools of his trade and are designed to fit him. He then practices, learning to use his rod with great precision until it becomes like his "right arm." It is the symbol of strength, power, and authority in all serious situations. It's a tool used as a weapon against predators, for discipline, and for the sheep's welfare. When a wayward sheep wanders too close to danger, the shepherd throws the rod within range near enough to frighten the sheep back to the safety of the flock. He uses it to count the sheep and to examine them for any signs of injury or disease.

The staff is most often used to comfort the sheep by drawing them together. A shepherd will skillfully use the crook of the staff to lift a newborn lamb that's been separated from its mother and reunite them or use gentle pressure from the staff to guide the wandering sheep back onto a path of safety. And, when the sheep really get into messes, the staff is used to untangle them from thorns and brambles from which they can't free themselves or lift them back onto solid ground after falling off a cliff while chasing yet one more mouthful of grass.

Is it any wonder that David wrote that we are "...the sheep of his pasture"? How often do we wander off the beaten path chasing something that captures our attention and need God's rescue? How often do we unknowingly (or knowingly) encounter danger only to be protected by our Shepherd?

As parents, we are commissioned by God to shepherd our children. He's called us to "feed sheep." This is no small responsibility. We know it, just as Peter did, so we must rely on God's guidance to help us. He will teach us to use our "rod and staff" - His Word - with precision to lead our children along the safe path, to protect them, to discipline them, to comfort them, and to help them when they get entangled in dangerous situations. He will be our Shepherd and lead us in the way in which we should go.

Gentle Shepherd, thank you for guiding us, for leading us back onto the path of safety when we stray, for keeping us safe and for comforting us.

Lord, You’ve called us to be a shepherd to our children and to “feed” them. Please help us to follow your example and give us the wisdom to guide them in “paths of righteousness” and to protect them from all harm.

Thank you, Heavenly Father.

“A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23” by Phillip Keller

How to Love a "Prodigal"

Perhaps the most powerful of the 3 stories Jesus shares in Luke 15 is the story of the "Prodigal Son." The story applies to all of us at some point in our lives. We may be the son who "knew it all" and headed out to prove to the world that he didn't need to follow all those old fashioned rules, we may be the son who always played by the rules and tried to be the "perfect child," or we may be the father whose heart broke to see his son head down a road to certain destruction.

As parents, we certainly don't want to be in the position this father finds himself in. He knows with all certainty that his son will end up broken, but he also knows that this young man has to learn some lessons on his own. Sure enough, the son so positive that the good times are going to roll on forever finds himself in worse shape than his dad's hired hands. The son finds himself in the pig pen, literally, and there he faces the truth - Dad was right, he wasn't.

Thankfully, the story doesn't end with the son wasting away among the pigs. He makes a plan - return home, admit and own his wrong-doing, and seek restitution by working as his dad's servant. But upon his return, his dad, who had been faithfully watching and waiting for his son to return home, refuses to hear the careful plan for restitution. Instead, he embraces his son, calls for a celebration, and restores his son to his position in the family. Nowhere in the story do we see where the father recounts the stupid mistakes the son has made, the way the son has shamed the family, and the pain and anguish he's caused.

Compare this parable to the story of David, a man after God's heart. David sins big - he commits adultery with Bathsheba, has the woman's husband killed, and tries to cover up his crimes. The child of his relationship with Bathsheba dies. David tried, like the Prodigal Son, to go his own way and manipulate situations to his benefit, but eventually he had to admit he sinned against his Father. He then came before God with a broken and contrite heart, much like the Prodigal Son upon his return home.

David spoke so eloquently of repentance in Psalm 51. He pleads for mercy and forgiveness and uses much the same words as the Prodigal Son, "Against you, you only, have I sinned ...(v. 4)." But it's what David requests from the Lord that is so powerful:

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

First, David asks to be created new, restored to a place of right-standing with God. Only God can take our mistakes and make something beautiful and useful from them. David is asking for God's help in leaving the past behind and becoming a "new creation." Only God can create like that!

Next, he asks that God renew a determination in him that couldn't be shaken, a steadfastness that would protect him from temptation and from the ups and downs in his faith and commitment to God.

Finally, David asks for a "willing spirit" to be obedient to whatever God asks of him. He was seeking the power that only God can give that would allow him to stay the course and not be moved by the temptations and adversities of life.

David had learned from his mistakes, he came before the Lord with a "broken and contrite heart," just as the Prodigal Son presented himself to his father. In fact, David says in Psalm 51:17, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."

For someone who has taken the path of the Prodigal Son more than once (I'm a slow learner), Luke 15 and Psalm 51 speak to me of the incredible unconditional love and forgiveness of my Heavenly Father. Because of His quickness to forgive and to rejoice over my repentant heart, I want to love Him and serve Him, I want to be steadfast in my commitment to Him.

As parents, I believe that when our children come to us truly sorry for their mistakes or rebellion, we must respond as our Heavenly Father does, and we must lead our children to take the steps that David and the Prodigal Son took to seek forgiveness and restoration.We must teach them about contrition and about seeking from God strength to do what is right and a willing spirit of obedience.

How we respond when our children do wrong sets the foundation for their understanding of love and forgiveness that they extend to themselves and to others and how able they are to accept the love and forgiveness of their Heavenly Father.

We can use these times (and unless your children are different than mine were, there will be plenty of opportunities) to teach our children the way in which to say, "I'm sorry," with meaning, and then we can lead them in the next steps to learn from their mistakes, take actions to not repeat them, and to learn obedience.

Lord, thank you for forgiving me and for restoring me into your family. Thank you for not recounting my failures, for forgetting them and loving me.

Please help us as we teach our children about You and Your love and forgiveness. Help us to provide them with wise guidance and counsel when we must discipline them. Let us always be an example of You so that they will grow to become who You have designed them to be and that they will serve You all the days of their lives.

Thank you, Lord, for Your unconditional love and forgiveness.

John 3:16-17

Timing is Everything!

This week the focus in Adventure Kidz is putting others first by giving them our time, what we seem to have so little of.

My grandmother was a woman on the go - constantly! She ran her household, had a job to provide an income, and was pastor of a church and a congregation of people that extended outside the walls of her church. I never knew her to be anything but on the move, BUT she always had time for me and for others. When I look back over the years, I don't recall that she said to me, "I don't have time." That doesn't mean she dropped everything to play with me or give into my every childish demand, but I do remember being with her as she did her work, ran her errands, and ministered to others - which is how she spent almost all of her time.

Perhaps the greatest gift she gave me was time because during those moments I was learning from her how to be like Jesus. She certainly wasn't perfect (there wasn't a speed limit she couldn't break!), and she didn't preach at me or to me. She was simply living life, the one she was called to live, and the example she set for me and for thousands of others has left an indelible imprint for all eternity.

Grandma wasn't Superwoman. I know now what I didn't know then - she drew her strength from the time she spent with her Heavenly Father. Taking the time to know Him gave her what she needed in all situations. She developed big, bold faith as she walked intimately with Him daily. She wasn't wealthy, she didn't buy me lots of stuff, but she gave me a gift that has outlasted her life - she gave me a portrait of Jesus.

In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus is visiting with his dear friends, Mary and Martha. Martha is so me - busy, busy, busy. She is intent on making sure that the house was clean, the meal prepared, the table set, the guests satisfied, and she is doing it all alone because her sister Mary is hanging out with Jesus! Martha finally blows a fuse (at least that's how I see it because it's what I have done) and tells Jesus he ought to encourage Mary to get up and help! Jesus' response isn't what Martha expected. He tells Martha to "chill" (okay, my words again). Jesus realizes that Martha is concerned with so much busywork that she doesn't take the time to spend with Him, getting to know Him, allowing His words to strengthen her and ease her spirit, resting in Him.

Jesus wasn't encouraging Martha to not take care of business, but He was telling her that she needed to get her priorities straight. Once she did that, all the other stuff would get taken care of (see Matthew 6:25-34 and I Peter 5:7). Martha, like so many of us, needed to put her time with Him first, not out of a sense of obligation, but out of love for Him. If we choose to seek Him first, He promises to honor that commitment by taking care of all of our needs.

As parents we are busy. Much of the busyness goes beyond what we do to earn a living to include the many things we do for our children and to keep the household operating. And, we do all these things because we love our kids and want to provide the best for them. I know from experience that the hours in the day don't seem enough and that we can run ourselves ragged, to coin a phrase my mom uses.

Our Heavenly Father's parenting agenda is even more time-intensive than ours. He is constantly attending to us. He knows our needs, provides for us, protects us, guides us with His wisdom, encourages us, corrects and disciplines us, strengthens us, and the list of His gifts to us goes on and on and on. He has all the time in the world for us because He loves us. But He wants our attention and our time so He can bless us with those gifts. We must choose to put spending time with Him first so that He can provide for all our needs.

I suspect that if we will take the time each day to place our "cares" in His hands and to allow Him to speak to us, He will provide all we need to accomplish what's important. And just as our Heavenly Father spends time with us, let's make sure that we are spending time with our children - not in big "extravaganzas" but in the every day routines. During this time, they will learn from us how to put God and others first and how to become fully devoted followers of Christ. Timing is everything!

Heavenly Father, Your word promises that if we will seek first your kingdom and your righteousness that all our needs - all of them - will be taken care of. You have taught us to love You and love others, and this kind of love takes time.

Please help us to put You first and trust that You will smooth out the rough patches in the day so we can get things done. And when things stay stressful, please help us to seek Your peace and know that You are working everything out. Lord, give us rest and strength.

Provide us wisdom as we spend time with our children. Help us to be a dynamic, living example of You to them. As a result of their time with us, let them know You better.

Thank you for always having time for us, Father.