I occasionally suffer with bouts of impatience! Of late, I've had several such occasions. As luck (this has to be a "God thing") would have it, our children at church are learning this month about the importance of the virtue PATIENCE! God does have a sense of humor, in case you wondered.
Truthfully, I have learned to be patient about a lot of things and with lots of people. I can wait for Christmas and have no problem waiting patiently for my birthday to arrive. I can put off purchasing items I can't afford until I can afford them or the desire to have them passes. I have incredible patience with my precious 2-year old granddaughter. In fact, my daughters probably wonder who this woman is! I'm sure they don't recall the same calm "indulgence" as they were growing up. My patience with other people's teenagers is truly a thing of wonder! But, I have great difficulty standing in line at Wal-mart waiting for the cashier to figure out whether she's charging for parsley or cilantro. Sitting in traffic is far from my favorite way to spend time, and waiting in the doctor's office, when I've taken out time from my busy day and arrived as scheduled months ahead, puts me around the bend.
Patience just isn't something that comes naturally to any of us, but if we are going to grow in our relationship with the Lord and be obedient to Him (Galatians 5:22-23), it's sure something we need! I was curious about how many times we are told in the Bible to "wait on the Lord" or to have patience. Being impatient, I decided rather than try to count them all from my Bible concordance, I'd do what any 21st century learner does, I'd Google it. That only furthered my impatience. The number of random hits was in the millions - really! So, scanning my concordance once again, I confirmed that there are lots of places where we are told to "wait" or to be patient!
Certainly we have plenty of Biblical examples of individuals who chose not to wait. Esau, twin brother to Jacob, is a great one. Esau, the eldest twin and a hunter, gave up his birthright for a bowl of lentil soup prepared by his younger twin, Jacob (Genesis 25:24-34). You'd think being a hunter that Esau would have patience, but apparently, like many of us, he had patience for some things but not all. He gave away something of great value in a moment of weakness; he was in a hurry to fill his belly and didn't stop to think of the lasting and monumental consequences of his impatience.
I have to stop myself when I begin to get all self-righteous about Esau being so dumb! I have been Esau. There have been times in my life when I was in a hurry to have what I thought I wanted. Every time that I failed to seek God's plan or rushed ahead and gave him assistance, I messed up and paid a high price. Thankfully, after far too many experiences like this, I am beginning to learn the importance of waiting on the Lord's time and plan (James 1:4).
As adults who have the responsibility for teaching children and young people the value of patience, we really do need to allow God to develop it in us (I Timothy 6:11). It's an ongoing process. If we are to have credibility when we tell our children to wait or be patient, they need to see us exercise patience (Psalm 37:7; Psalm 52:9; Lamentations 3:26).
Waiting isn't easy. We live in a "hurry up" culture with a "got to have it now" way of thinking. We aren't encouraged to be still and know God (Psalm 46:10) , to meditate on his word (Joshua 1:8) and seek his purposes. But if we want to avoid making the kinds of mistakes that we may regret, we must seek to learn patience - and God is a "learn by doing" kind of teacher. He will put us right in the middle of a situation where we have to choose to rely on him and be patient or rely on our own wisdom and rush ahead of him (Romans 5:3).
So, as I deal with my case of impatience, I am learning to wait, wait, and wait some more. The experience has been hard but not impossible, and I do think I'm gaining strength to be patient. As my mom pointed out, God planned an 11-day trip for the Israelites out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. Because of their impatience, the trip took 40 years! I am learning to wait so the trip is a short one!
Heavenly Father, thank you for your patience with me. I'm so glad you don't throw in the towel and give up on me when I'm so slow to learn or when I am willful and disobedient. You have given all of us the ability to be patient, and you know it's in our best interest that we learn to wait on you. Please help us to rely on your Holy Spirit and your strength to develop patience to wait for your perfect will and timing in our lives. Give us the wisdom to teach our children to wait on you and follow as you lead them. Thank you for being such a loving and patient teacher. Amen.
In a time where there are countless sources of "wisdom," discerning what is truth and teaching our children the value of wisdom can seem impossible. We live in a world that has increasingly led us to believe that life should come easy, that we shouldn't have to know struggle to achieve, that we all deserve immediate gratification and resolution to problems, and that each of us is right and truth is relative. The cacophony of advice becomes like a Tower of Babel - so many voices coming from every direction, creating confusion rather than peace. Yet, if we are seriously seeking wisdom, we will shut out the voices of our modern-day wise men and women and will listen to what God tells us; He provides wisdom for all situations and in just one book, the Bible.
In II Chronicles 10:1-19, the account of Solomon's son Jeroboam reveals a young man who chose to ignore the wisdom of his elders for the popular counsel of his peers. The story actually is a continuation his father's story - Solomon's departure from God's wisdom to reliance on his own. Both situations led to the same outcome - destruction. Proverbs 13:20 puts the situation rather bluntly: "Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble."
I wish I could claim that I have always made the right choices and set the right example for my children. I would like to be able to say that I paid attention to the wisdom of my elders instead of sometimes following the trends of my generation. I realize now that not everything my parents' and grandparents' generations taught was without value; I just didn't take the time or have the maturity or desire to understand the wisdom of what they believed and taught. On the other hand, not everything they held to be "truth" was; their generations were no more immune to popular cultural influences than ours are. The comfort I take from this understanding is that those things that are wise transcend generations and have their foundations in the Word of God. God's truth remains unchanged through all time.
As parents, we have the responsibility to set the example for our children. If we desire our children to be wise, we have to be wise; if we want them to be like Christ, we have to be like Him. This doesn't mean that we will "get it right" every day and in all situations. What it does mean, though, is that we will put our reliance in the Lord and seek wisdom from Him and His word. It means we commit ourselves first to seeking God's ways and living according to His will for our lives and then ensuring that we are teaching our children through how we live and how we parent them.
God has provided us with the tools we need to be successful. We have his Word, the Holy Spirit to reveal it to us and to guide us, and godly people who can support us. We aren't in this alone.
The Bible isn't short of words of wisdom. As you go through your day, find time to sit with God and His word; ask the Holy Spirit for understanding. God is not unaware of your needs or your situation; He will provide you the guidance you need. You will find that as you study and listen and intentionally walk with the Lord, you will know wisdom. You will become the example of who you want your children to be - a fully devoted follower of Christ.
Thank you, Lord, for providing all we need to be your followers. You created us, You have a unique purpose for us, and You have ensured that we will have what we need to become who You intend us to be.
You have given us a calling to raise our children to know and serve You. Please lead and direct us as we study your word, seek your wisdom, and become more like You before our children. Help us to lead them to know You.
We pray this in Your name, Amen.
Some verses to get you started:
Proverbs 24:3
Proverbs 22:6
Proverbs 23:12
Psalm 111:10
Matthew 6:25-34
Ephesians 6:4
James 1:5
When I reflect on the individuals with whom I sought to be when I was in turmoil, I realize that these are people who, by biblical standards, were wise. They are people for whom I had, and still do have, great respect; I wanted to be these people. Rarely were they successful and influential by the world's standards, they weren't famous, but in God's economy, they were rich and were people who made significant difference in lives for all eternity.
The Queen of Sheba found herself seeking wisdom (I Kings 10:1-13). She'd heard about Solomon and even doubted he was "all that," but after trekking a great distance with an impressive entourage, the Queen discovered wisdom as a result of spending time with Solomon. What she heard and saw convinced her that wisdom is worth seeking. Proverbs 8:10-11 tells us that wisdom is what we should seek rather than the riches of precious metals and stones.
In James 3:17, the author tells us that God's wisdom is pure and that purity leads us to be peace-loving, considerate, submissive, merciful, full of good fruits, impartial, and sincere. As a parent, or anyone living in this world, this kind of wisdom, yielding these results is certainly worth seeking. James 1:5 tells us to ask God for wisdom and that He will give it to us with abundance; yet we will only learn to be wise by depending upon God (Proverbs 3:5-6).
As the Queen of Sheba observed, the results of Solomon's God-given wisdom was a life of peace among his people and with his neighboring nations, a happy and prosperous people, and a recognition of his God.
Many of us attempt to navigate this life and parenting in our own wisdom. Rarely does this lead to the outcomes we most desire. Proverbs 14:12 puts into context what happens when we persist in "having it our own way": "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Those are very strong words; yet I can attest to the fact that when I have insisted in using my own wise thinking, I have always experienced some kind of "death."
We want the best for our children; many of us have the resources to purchase anything our children desire, including the "best" schools, the newest technology, the finest neighborhoods. Nothing is wrong with ensuring that our children are treated well, but as we seek to parent with God's wisdom, let's determine to focus on those things that will provide eternal good. As we learn to rely on God's direction and seek and obey His wisdom, we will experience the attributes of wisdom in our lives and in the lives of our children.
Just as the Queen of Sheba went to great lengths to find wisdom, we too must trust and rely daily on God for His direction, we must be faithful to apply His wisdom in all parts of our lives, and we must teach our children to seek God's wisdom. When we do these things, we and our families will know God's peace, provision, blessings, and favor.
Wisdom doesn't arrive on our doorstep, delivered by the UPS guy; it comes through daily experiences. Our Heavenly Father will give us the direction we need to make the right decisions and stand firm with peace that goes beyond our understanding (Phil. 4:7).
Heavenly Father, thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for going to great lengths to teach us to seek wisdom and to be wise according to your leading in our lives.
We pray for the desire to operate in your wisdom, to pray for wisdom daily, and to be obedient as you lead. Remind us, through your Holy Spirit, to lean on your understanding and not our own.
Thank you for being the One we can trust as we parent our children.
Source: The IVP New Testament Commentary Series
When I read through the story of Solomon asking God for wisdom, I related to him. His realization that he had just been designated king of God's chosen people seemed not too unlike mine when I learned I was to become a parent for the first time. What did I know about being a mom! All kinds of questions and fears popped into my head, but obviously, there was no going back; I was going to be a mom, and that wasn't going to change any time soon. Solomon was about to be king, and he needed "just-in-time learning" from the one who called him! Little did I know, as a mom, I too would need that kind of "learning intervention" almost daily.
Solomon had a special visitation. God appeared to him in a dream inviting Solomon to ask anything from Him. Solomon's response is worth noting. First, he acknowledged that God is faithful (I King 3:6) because God showed mercy and kindness to David, Solomon's father, by making his son king. Then, Solomon admitted his need: "...but I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties." Solomon realized that he had just been called to be leader to a people who God had chosen and with whom He had made a covenant. He was not to be just any king; he was the king to God's children. He knew that to lead these people, he would need more than his human abilities; he would need divine intervention. So, he asked for "...an understanding (God-leaning) heart..." and to be able to "...discern between good and bad. (I Kings 3:9)"
The events that follow just after Solomon's encounter with God put him right in the middle of a situation where he had to exercise his new "wisdom muscles." Two women - harlots, according to the Bible - came before him requesting that he determine which of them was the actual mother to the child they had with them. Each woman protested that she was the birth mother, and no witness existed to provide evidence supporting one or the other. Solomon made sure he had the story straight and then requested that a sword be brought out to divide the child, giving each woman a half of the child. One woman plead for the life of the child, relinquishing her claim to him so he might live, and the other thought this rather extreme solution sounded pretty fair. Based upon their reactions, Solomon deduced who truly was the mother and awarded the child to the one who plead for his life.
Something that struck me as I read the exchange between the two women and Solomon was that as king, he could have chosen not to mediate because he could have seen them as not worth his time. They were harlots. Instead of discounting their dispute, he judged wisely. Solomon's actions as a wise and just king awed his people and they respected him.
So much can be learned from just this one story. Like Solomon, when we become parents, we have to admit, we don't have any idea what we're doing, and yet we have entered into a role that supersedes all others. We need wisdom; we need God's help!
When our children come to us - usually on those days when we are totally frazzled - with one of their "did/did not" disputes, we may be quick to send them away with a short retort, and understandably so. But these times may be the ones where we say a quick prayer for patience and wisdom. Our kids watch us, just as Solomon's people watched him, and they learn about wisdom and justice from how we deal with their disputes. And, these situations that seem so annoying to us are the training grounds God uses to build our "wisdom muscles."
God promises to give us what we need. James 1:5 specifically addresses our need for wisdom: "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." When we feel uncertain, we can stand firm in our knowledge that God keeps His promises, He is faithful, and He does not withhold any of His good gifts from us (Luke 11:9-10; 11-13). Proverbs 3:5-6 provides direction: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
We won't just automatically become wise, but God will give us opportunities to need wisdom and will provide the answers we need. As our children grow, we will need deeper wisdom; thankfully God starts us with the "small stuff" in preparation for the bigger situations that will come.Lord, I'm so thankful that you equip us to serve You, that you provide the wisdom we need for all situations.
Thank you for allowing us to parent our children. Please strengthen us as we call on You and rely on You. Teach us Your ways, and be ever present, guiding us as we teach our children about You.
