Parenting - Fast Food or Home Cookin'

It’s kind of difficult to imagine a day when feeding a family required growing the ingredients, preserving them for future use, and starting the actual meal as the sun was coming up because it was going to take that long for the whole thing to come together and be ready when the family walked through the door hungry – and that was just breakfast! Admittedly, I’m glad I didn’t have to go through all that to feed my family, but my girls do know the difference between fast food and “cooking from scratch”! I am blessed to have been raised among some pretty good cooks. My grandmother’s homemade rolls were coveted by anyone who’d ever had them; my mom’s banana cake is the best I’ve ever eaten; and bless those sainted southern women who pulled out all the stops for those Sunday dinner-on-the-ground meals (we prayed the preacher would cut it short so we could eat!). That heritage drove me to try to learn to cook like those women and preserve their skills.

I wish I could say I mastered their effortless talents in the kitchen. After years of practice, I can make acceptable hot rolls, cinnamon rolls, and blackberry cobbler, and I can finesse my way around a kitchen to make plain home cooking, but I still don’t have their ability to just throw stuff in bowl without looking at a recipe and produce “heaven on a plate.” That comes from daily practice over years of feeding a family without the modern conveniences of pre-packaged foods, fast food restaurants, and microwaves. Home cookin’ takes time and work, and no substitutes can match the results.

Another lesson I learned from those women is that there’s no fast way to learn to walk with the Lord. That too comes from daily practice, year after year. There’s no substitute for the time spent growing and preserving the “ingredients” that make for a strong Christian life that provides the nourishment necessary for every moment of each day.

In our instant everything world, we may be tempted to practice “drive-through” time with our Father. I wonder if we don’t expect to drive up to the order board, tell God what we want, and pull up to the window and have Him hand us a bag with the answer in it. Do we expect to develop our spiritual strength by filling up on “fast-food” experiences that we consume hurriedly as we rush from one appointment to another?

The women who fed me “home cookin’” are the same women whose lives showed me what it means to become in every sense of the word a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ. There’s no substitute for the time it takes to learn the “ingredients of God’s word” and how He puts them together to make a “meal worth eating.” They experienced both joy and suffering, making them strong and developing in them big, bold, unwavering faith. They gained the strength to stand firm in whom they believed (Romans 8:38-39; II Timothy 1:12), and what a lesson that has been for me.

As we go about “feeding” our children each day, let’s consider what they are learning from us. Do they see us rush through the day as fast-food consumers of God’s word and time with Him, or do they observe us spending time “cooking from scratch,” allowing Him to nourish us?

If it’s true that we are what we eat, I pray that we will choose to eat from the Bread of Life and share the love for His “home cookin’” with our children.

Lord, we don't want to be "fast-food" Christians. We want to spend time with You allowing You to feed and nurture us so that we grow strong in You. Please let us be mindful that we are setting an example that our children will follow. Help us to give them the recipe for "strong bodies" - time spent with You and in your word.

Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional and bountiful love for us.

Parenting - Giving Your Children Away

If you're the parent of a 13-year old or a teenager, you may have had days where giving him or her away seemed like a really good idea! It's a lovely age, but thankfully, almost all of us have lived through it - as a kid and as a parent! Seriously, though, most of us couldn't imagine giving our children away. It's hard enough when they leave home for college. Yet, the Bible tells a story of a woman who gave her child away before he was ever born. It's the story of Hannah, Samuel's mom.

Hannah was the second wife of Elkanah, and she had no children. The first wife had kids, and she wasn't exactly empathetic with Hannah's sorrow; in fact, she was mean. Elkanah loved Hannah and favored her. He didn't seem the least bit upset that she hadn't produced progeny. But, Hannah wanted a baby so much so that when the family made their annual trip to the house of the Lord, she "wept bitterly" before the Lord, promising if God would give her a son that she would give him back, as soon as he was weaned, to serve God all the days of his life. Eli the priest saw her praying and accused her of being drunk. When she set him straight and explained her "complaint" before the Lord, Eli sent her away with these words, "...and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition...." Hannah ceased from her grieving, she ate, and her countenance was no longer sad (I Samuel 1:18). Her actions imply that she had faith that God would answer her prayer.

Sure enough, Hannah had a son, Samuel, and she kept her part of the bargain. As soon as Samuel was weaned, Hannah put together all the makings for a great offering to the Lord, packed up Samuel, and headed to the temple and Eli, the priest. They worshiped the Lord, and she left her son to serve God all his life.

Okay, really, how many of us could leave behind our toddler to be raised by a stranger? But Hannah's prayer to the Lord as she's leaving Samuel behind is amazing! She was rejoicing:

I'm bursting with God-news! I'm walking on air. I'm laughing at my rivals. I'm dancing my salvation.
^2-5 Nothing and no one is holy like God, no rock mountain like our God.

Every year, Hannah would make the journey with the family and take Samuel a new coat, and no where is there any indication that she ever regretted or wanted to break her covenant, and God, in His beautiful way, honored Hannah by giving her five more children.

Samuel had a calling on his life. From before his birth, he was dedicated to the Lord, and as soon as he was old enough to be separated from his mother, he was "in training" for that moment when God would call him into service.

I Samuel 2 tells how the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli the priest, that he grew before the Lord, and found favor with both the Lord and men. Interestingly, this was happening while all around him Eli's sons, who were of the priesthood, were dishonoring God and bringing down His judgment on their family.

When the time came for Samuel to fill the purpose for which he had been called, he was ready.

Most of us dedicate our young children to the Lord, but I wonder if we realize the full importance of that ceremony. I'm not sure I did when we dedicated our girls before the church congregation. I understood it was a solemn and sacred occasion, I knew that I wanted my girls to belong to the Lord, but I am certain I didn't reflect as deeply on the full meaning of my actions.

When Hannah dedicated Samuel to the Lord, she wasn't just giving her child away and placing responsibility for his nurturing on someone else. She invested in the life of her child to ensure that he would be ready to answer when God called and would respond willingly. She remained faithful to her God and to her promise and demonstrated her commitment by placing Samuel where he would learn from a young age how to serve God and how to know His voice. She believed God to do His part.

When we dedicate our children to God, we aren't just saying, "God, here they are. I promise to bring them to church and teach them right from wrong." We are entering a covenant with God to teach them to know Him and how to serve Him, to learn to sense His presence and to know His voice, to understand from an early age that they have a calling on their lives and that at the God-appointed moment, He will call them.

God will do His part; we must do ours. Giving our children away to God may mean giving up our plans and purposes. It certainly requires that we choose to live our lives sacrificially and according to God's Word because we are the stewards of the children we have dedicated into His service.

Heavenly Father, parenting is a sacred calling, and when we stop to think about the full weight of the responsibility, it's a little frightening. But, You are our example, your Word is our standard, and your Holy Spirit is our teacher and guide. You don't call us without equipping us for service.

As we dedicate our children to You, we want to dedicate ourselves as well and be willing to be sacrificial in serving our children. Let us be like You.

We pray these things, in your name. Amen.

Parenting - Raising a "Gifted" Child

Garrison Keillor, author and radio host, is known for his fictional hometown, Lake Wobegon where "...all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." This belief that people from Lake Wobegon are a cut above the rest of us mere mortals has resulted in a name for a very real human tendency to ascribe to ourselves achievements and capabilities superior to those of others; it's called the Lake Wobegon effect!

Years of being an educator and a parent have provided me with too many examples of parents believing their child deserves special treatment because he or she is "gifted" or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, those who believe their child will never amount to anything. Some children are exceptional; truly we do have geniuses and prodigies, but most of us, including our children, are just regular folks.

What has troubled me, though, is the often devastating results the Lake Wobegon effect, and its more extreme negative counterpoint, has on kids. Children take to heart what the parent believes to be true about them and behave accordingly. What I generally observed, regardless of the situation, were disappointed, frustrated, hurt, confused, and angry children, and parents who simply didn't understand what was wrong with their child. All were left feeling as if they didn't measure up.

Here's the good news - we're all gifted! I Corinthians 12 compares the body of Christ to the human body. Just as the human body is comprised of many intricate and complex parts so that it functions at peak performance, so does the Church; God has created each person with a very specific purpose, enabling the body of Christ to operate as He so designed it. No one member of the Church is more or less important than another; each has a significant and crucial role to play. In other words, regardless of who we are and how we measure on an intelligence scale, we all are key players in God's perfect plan.

Our children are gifted by God. We may not know specifically what those gifts are, but be assured that each child has been designed with a purpose. Our responsibility is to seek the Lord for direction as we raise our children. We need His wisdom to know how to guide them so that their gifts develop according to God's divine purpose for their lives. We can raise truly "gifted children" by leading them to know their Creator and by praying with them from a young age that God will develop in them His character and their unique purpose. He will give us direction in how to discipline, relate to, and provide for them so their talents and strengths grow according to His best for them.

In God's family, there is no Lake Wobegon effect; we all are precious in His sight, all exceptional and integral to His plan. When we are fully functioning in God's design for us, we will be more than "above average"; we will be "...perfect and complete in all the will of God. (Colossians 4:12)"

Lord, we don't always feel "special"; we don't always measure up to this world's standard of value. But, we are so thankful that to You, we are priceless. You created us lovingly and for a unique purpose.

Please help us to first know and understand and accept our value to You. Help us to see ourselves as You do. Then, please give us the divine wisdom to guide our children to become who You have created them to be. Help us to identify their strengths and parent them is such a way that their gifts will develop according to your plans.

You have entrusted us with Your precious children; help us to care for them according to Your word and Your ways. In your name we pray, Amen.

Parenting - Imprinting God's Character

I admit that sometimes what I read and what I see make me want to jump on my nearest soapbox and deliver my fiercest "what are you thinking" speech at the top of my lungs! But, then I realize I'd be wasting my breath! Who listens to a crazy person!

This week I read of some fabulous new technology for all those folks who want to give their children a head-start in their education and who also prefer to give birth to "calm" infants, ready to learn (New devices aim to help babies start learning before birth, Wichita Eagle, October 6, 2009). First, I have rarely seen a healthy infant who isn't born ready to learn; that's how God created us. Second, who deserves a "calm" infant! Babies are supposed to cry when they need and want something, and parents are supposed to respond appropriately so that over time, those babies learn to manage their needs independently (I think that's about the time when we send them off after they graduate from high school).

We seem to live in a time where our desire to "play God" is growing more apparent, and while our attempts to "be God" don't work, "playing God" with the development of our children scares me. Human beings are genuinely "fearfully and wonderfully made"; the human body is so magnificently complex that our tinkering with it, seemingly to enhance what God has already perfectly designed, is hubris of the most frightening kind.

Yet, we do have direction in how to influence the development of our children. Throughout the Bible, we are instructed to be "like Christ," to set the example for others, including our children, so they too will want to become followers of Christ. We are given a "best practice" through God's direction to the children of Israel to write His commandments on our own hearts and get them inside the hearts of our children; these are to be on-going "teachable moments" throughout every day, from sunup to sundown (Deuteronomy 6:7).

God made no mistakes when He designed the way we develop and learn - from conception to death. In fact, the reason we might be tempted to expose our unborn children to these new "teaching devices" is because from week 18 of their lives, they can hear mom's voice and activity going on inside and outside the womb. God made this possible for all kinds of reasons we and medical experts may or may not know, but we can be sure, there is divine purpose.

In John 10:27, Jesus says, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." He follows this by saying that he gives his sheep eternal life, that they will never perish, and no one can snatch His sheep from Him (John 10:28-29).

If a shepherd starts to imprint the sound of his voice on sheep from the earliest possible moment so they will follow him, the implications for us as parents is evident. From the very beginning of the lives of our children, they should hear us praying; they should experience the sounds of what it means to be in God's presence and among His people. Once they are born, their learning curve zooms, and that's when we begin to tell them and show them every moment of every day who God is and how He loves them. Just as our Shepherd leaves His imprint upon us, we must develop a godly imprint upon our children so that when they are old enough to make their own decisions (or at least think they are old enough), they will listen to and obey that familiar voice (Proverbs 22:6).

Children do respond to their environments and to the voices of those around them before they are ever born. They are sponges, absorbing all kinds of experiences; they are "learning machines." If we want to give our children a real "edge" on life, let's plug them into Jesus earlier rather than later. Let's develop our own character so that we reflect Jesus to them, and let's imprint them with a desire to know Him from an early age. It's never too early to teach a child who Jesus is.

Lord, the way You have created us is truly amazing. Your intricate design is beyond our ability to comprehend and recreate. You are God, and we are not, and for that, I am ever grateful.

Thank you for giving us our children. Please place in our hearts an urgency to teach them who You are from a young age and lead them to a relationship with You.

Put in us an understanding of the critical role we play as parents, grandparents, and people in the lives of children in ensuring that they know You and that their "education" can't be left to "chance"; we must diligently lead them to You.

We ask for your wisdom and guidance as we grow in You and as we lead our children.

Thank You, Lord. Amen.

Parenting - Understanding Abstract Art

A friend and I visited a local bookstore recently to check out an art exhibit featuring work of an artist from our community. When we saw the art was abstract, we both had to admit we didn't "get it." Since both of us consider ourselves to be rather well-educated (we were fighting a very strong urge to look at the books rather than the art), we did make an attempt to explain what we appreciated about the pieces on display. The colors in some were of particular appeal, we could discern shapes and design, we noticed that framing mattered, and, of course, the price tag attached to each painting assured us that these were valuable works of art! But, in the end, we acknowledged the gift of the artist along with our own lack of understanding - and then succumbed to our love of the written word!

Our experience with abstract art became a metaphor for me. How often do we look at people and fail to recognize their purpose or their value? We see colors and shapes; we even notice their "frame," but we just don't see how they fit. Sometimes those folks are living in our own homes. Do you ever wonder who that teenager requesting funds is? He can't be your kid! Your son wears pants that fit and a belt to hold them up! Your daughter wouldn't turn her beautiful blonde hair that color! What may be even more disconcerting is when we look in the mirror and wonder who exactly we are or of what possible value we hold.

Yet, here's the truth - had my friend and I been with the artist, she could have explained her work, she would have told us the intricacies of shape and color and design and the deliberation that determined the framing. She could have told us the great investment she made to create each unique piece. We may not have become fans, but we would have understood.

Just as we needed the artist, or someone equally well-versed in abstract art, to teach us and guide us, each of us needs the Master Artist to open our understanding of his greatest works of art - his children.

Psalms 119:73a says, "Your hands made me and formed me," and in Isaiah 64:8, we are clay, and God is the potter, "...we are all the work of your hand." God has created us with such intricate design that while we may look abstract to others and to ourselves, we are a perfect work of art with a unique purpose.

The art my friend and I saw had value; some had been sold. Someone had seen the painting and decided it was perfect for a particular purpose. We too come with a price - the perfect, sinless life of Jesus Christ whose death on the cross redeemed us. His death and resurrection purchased us to fill a spot that only we can fill. It's the thing for which we have been created.

As we seek to understand the "works of art" we and others are, we must walk and talk with the Artist. II Timothy 3:16-17 tells us that God's word is provided for us to equip us for good work. We are "...his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works.... (Ephesians 2:10)." And, we are works in progress; God continues to put the "finishing touches" on His masterpieces: "And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.(Philippians 1:6)"

Each day ask God to give you an "eye for art," so that you can see His unique design and purpose for your life, the lives of your children, and those of people around you.

Heavenly Father, we don't always see nor are we able to appreciate the beauty of Your most loved creation. Help us to know who we are in You, and help us to value others as the unique works of art You have created.

Please help us to guide our children in learning that they are precious in your sight and that You have made them to be one of a kind to serve You as only they can.

Thank you for loving us so much. Help us to love You without reservation. In Your name we pray, Amen.