Parenting - Being a Friend Like Jesus Takes TIME!

"I don't have time" seems to be the refrain sung by so many of us today. I hear it from myself, among my colleagues, from the kids at school, at home - everywhere! We have gotten ourselves so busy doing stuff that we have reached a state of such fatigue that we really don't have time for what matters. Even when we do try to find the time for what's important, we give those things - and people - only a fraction of our attention because we're so frazzled and have our mind on everything we aren't doing that needs to be done! 

If anyone had a legitimate right to say, "I don't have time," it was Jesus. He was busy! He was sent to save the world and disciple a group of men and women to lead the Church once he left for Heaven, yet he still took time for his friends. 

I think we can safely argue that Jesus's friends were not limited to that small band of men he traveled around with. In other words, if Jesus had Facebook or Twitter, his friend list would have been astronomical! Therefore, when Jesus set the example for friendship by taking time to invest deeply in his friends, he was expecting that we do the same. In fact, Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) to point out that everyone is our "neighbor," not just those people who fit into our social set.

In John 21, Jesus meets with his disciples one last time before ascending to Heaven. After a night of fishing but not catching anything, the disciples were headed into shore. Jesus, whom they didn't recognize, was standing on the beach and told them to cast their nets again. They did and brought up a net-load of fish. Then the disciples recognized him (he'd done this for them once before). Peter jumped into the water and headed straight for Jesus. When the others joined them, Jesus prepared breakfast. Jesus took care of their physical hunger and then attended to matters of the heart. 

Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. Each time, Peter professed his love, and each time Jesus commanded Peter to feed or shepherd his sheep. The interesting thing about this exchange is that the first two times Jesus questioned Peter regarding his love, Jesus used the form of the word love that implies deep spiritual love, obedience to God's commandments because of that love. Peter affirmed each time his affection, using the lesser meaning of the word, fondness. The last time Jesus asked, he too used the weaker of the two definitions, but I don't think it's because he doubted that Peter loved him at the much deeper, spiritual level. Peter's self-confidence was deeply shaken; he'd betrayed Jesus. The incredible thing about Jesus, though, is that he knew Peter, beyond appearances, and called him to shepherd his sheep, to lead the Church. Jesus knew that Peter would have that deep abiding love for his Savior that would cause him to be obedient and devote his life to serving God and others.

As a Christ-follower, we are commanded to be a friend like Jesus. That means we are to love God and love others (Matthew 22:37-39). That takes time! It's messy! It's sacrificial! It's risky! It's nothing short of what Jesus does for us! As we move through our day-to-day lives, we need to evaluate what is taking our time. If those things are keeping us from spending time with the Lord, then we need to re-think their importance. If we are so busy that we can't see the needs of the people around us - our family members, our friends, our colleagues, our fellow Christians, strangers - then we aren't fulfilling what we're expected to do as Christians. 

Just as the disciples and early Christians weren't left unequipped to be friends like Jesus, neither are we. In John 14:12-27, Jesus told his disciples that he would send a Comforter, and Helper, for us. He knows our lives, he knows what we have to accomplish each day, and he also knows what he's called us to be in this life - Jesus with skin on. He knows, and he equips. We have to determine to love (agape) him. Then, trust God for the rest - and the rest (Matthew 11:28).

Lord, we are so thankful that when we have lost confidence in ourselves, you haven't. You look past our flaws and see the beauty of your creation and what we can be in you. Thank you for taking the time to lead each of us to a deeper understanding of who you are and who you want us to be. Thank you for your gracious friendship.

Please help us to slow down and be a friend to those around us. Let us see with your eyes and share your love with others. Thank you for the Holy Spirit who equips us to serve you and others. Amen. 

Parenting - "Friending" Jesus

If you have a Facebook presence, you understand the term "friending." I have learned that who my friends are and what they say on their own wall may reflect on me. I also know that what I put on my wall says a lot about who I am and what I believe. 

Long before we had Facebook and other virtual social networks, we learned that we needed to be careful who our friends are. Our parents cautioned that we might become "like them," so we needed to choose friends who would be a good influence over us. I hate to admit it, but they were right! In fact, the apostle Paul cautions in I Corinthians 15:33, "...bad company corrupts good character." We do tend to become like the people with whom we closely associate.

In Matthew 16:13-17, Jesus is with his disciples and asks them what people are saying about him. Some folks of the day thought he was John the Baptist or one of the prophets, but when Jesus asked his disciples who they believed him to be, Peter spoke up and declared, "You're the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the Living God." Peter, a "close associate" of Jesus, had friended Jesus, and the Heavenly Father revealed the true nature of Jesus to him. 

The result of Peter's friendship with Jesus had greater influence than the fisherman ever imagined the day he decided to follow Christ. Jesus dubbed Peter the Rock upon which he would build his Church, a church so powerful that "...all the powers of Hell will not conquer it" (Matthew 16:18-20).

Here's what happens when we decide to friend Jesus - our lives are transformed forever! We acknowledge that we need Jesus as our Savior, and this is the first change that takes place. This was Peter's first step - God revealed to him his need for the Messiah in his life. It changed his direction for all eternity. 

The evidence of the transformation comes as we become intimate in our relationship with our Friend. We begin to talk about him, want to spend time with him, be like him. II Corinthians 5:17 tells us that when we enter into this relationship, "...The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" What once defined who we are is transformed; we are influenced. As Peter entered more deeply into knowing Jesus, he became more of who he was intended to be. The brash, impetuous Peter who proclaimed that he'd never deny Christ and who chopped off the ear of Malthus was shaped into the Apostle Peter, the church-builder, boldly preaching the Gospel, led by the anointing and power of the Holy Spirit. This Peter who turned fearful and disloyal on the night of Jesus's crucifixion became courageous for Christ and died a martyr for the Gospel.

When we start hanging out with Jesus, we find our "real selves." He begins the transformation process "re-shaping" us into who we were created to be. He shapes us to serve him. We are called to be "salt and light" to our world (Matthew 5:13-14). Jesus proclaimed that Peter and people like him are the Church that can't be destroyed. He declared, "And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven" (Matthew 16:19). We become the Church with power to serve! 

Heavenly Father, we desire to be so intimate with you that our lives will be transformed, that we will be "salt and light" to those around us, that we will be the Church. Our prayer is that of the Psalmist: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer" (Psalm 19:14) so that others may come to know you. Fill us to overflowing with more of You and less of ourselves. May we take on your character and be more like you. In your name we pray these things. Amen.

Parenting - Strength Training: More Than a New Year's Resolution

I'm a regular at the YMCA, and I run. When January 1 rolls around every year, I know that we "regulars" are going to be in competition for our favorite machines and weights with the "new year resolution crowd." I also know that in a few weeks the interruption to my routine will have ended because many of the "newbies" will have "grown weary in well-doing." I too have to guard against the temptation to slack off because I am certain that as soon as I fail in my faithfulness to my fitness routine, I will become one of those who "grow weary" and lose the resolution to stay strong.


Being a Christian, requires "strength" training 24/7, 365 days of the year. We aren't able to let down our guard or become lazy. Following Christ requires that we not go on "auto-pilot." We are running a race that has an eternal prize for those who run to win (I Corinthians 9:24-27). It's when we are out of condition, when we are weak, that stuff happens.  


Before Jesus launched his public ministry, he was led into the wilderness by the Spirit and tested by Satan (Luke 4:1-13). Jesus fasted 40 days and 40 nights before the Devil tempted him with 3 propositions. Satan taunted Jesus, in his weakened physical state, telling him that if he really were God's son he should command the stones to become bread. When Jesus didn't succumb, the Devil tried twice more to trap Jesus by suggesting he jump from a high place, since the angels would save him, and that Jesus could possess all the kingdoms of this world if he would worship Satan. In all three situations, Jesus resisted the temptations and defeated the Devil at his game by quoting God's word.

Jesus "stayed strong" when Satan confronted him. For every temptation that the Devil threw at him, Jesus refuted him with Truth, but Jesus didn't enter this time of testing unprepared. Luke 4:1 says he went into the wilderness full of the Holy Spirit; he was led there by the Spirit. He wasn't alone, and he wasn't without strength and endurance when he was tired and weak from not having eaten for 40 days and nights and from the Devil's tests.

We too are tested, and generally the "big tests" come when we are in our most weakened state. The Devil knows our "soft spots" and attacks. He isn't necessarily blatant but is more inclined to twist truth or to use subtlety, just as he did in testing Jesus. He manipulated scripture. This is the way Satan works. It's the tactic he used with Eve in the Garden, and he's still successfully using his methods on us today.

If we are to stand firm in our confession of faith in times of strength and weakness, here are some things we need to know:

• Anyone wanting to live a godly life will be persecuted (II Timothy 3:12). We must be prepared for what is inevitable. Satan isn't content to leave us alone once we determine to live for Christ. He's looking for company to share his eternity (I Peter 5:8). He may promise what the human ego craves - fame, fortune, power - but it comes with a very high price and the rewards are short lived.
• We have Truth on our side, and we must rely on the Holy Spirit to give us discernment to recognize Truth from the Devil's lies. Paul reminds Timothy that some people will look for teachers to feed them "spiritual junk food" but to not be distracted by what is false (II Timothy 4:3-4). 
• The Holy Spirit is with us to teach us and help us to remember God's word (John 14:26; Luke 12:12). God has provided a Helper, the Holy Spirit, for all times of our lives; we have to do our part, though, and study God's word and hide it in our hearts so that when we are being tempted or are going through difficult times, the Holy Spirit can cause us to remember it.
• We have a strong defense, but it's our responsibility to prepare. Ephesians 6:12-18 (The Message) puts it this way:

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. 

Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

As we set out to begin a new year, we must determine and stay true to that resolve to be strong in our walk with the Lord. Our strength comes from the Lord (Philippians 4:13), and we are "conquerors" (Romans 8:37).

Heavenly Father, thank you for providing all we require to "live strong" in our walk with you. I pray that we will be diligent in spending time with You, in learning your word, and in putting it into practice in our lives. As we live out our faith, let our children and all with whom we interact see You at work in and through us. May they learn dependence upon You and see your faithfulness to us in how we live our lives. In your name we pray, Amen.

 

 

Parenting - All I Want for Christmas Is ....

Christmas has been on my mind a lot recently! I know that isn't exactly a profound revelation given that we are in the thick of the holiday season, but I've been seriously preoccupied this year with the whole notion of how we do Christmas.

I started months ago begging my adult children for their "Christmas lists" so that I would know how to purchase for them. They had trouble getting those lists to me; the response to the question, "What do you want for Christmas?" was generally, "I don't know."

As the actual shopping for just the right gifts commenced, I just got irritated. I love my family, I want to give them "good gifts," but the feeling I had was that these kids have everything they need and a whole lot of what they want. They are blessed to be well-educated and well-employed; those material blessings extend to my grandchild. She really doesn't need yet another toy. This "shopping binge" resembled the feeling I have when I over-indulge in some decadent dessert - it was great while I was doing it, but when it was over, not so much! Too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing.

I examined why I was feeling so Scrooge-like about Christmas and decided it had something to do with what's going on in the world around us - growing numbers of people we know without jobs, people losing their homes, folks without health insurance. You get the idea. I am blessed to be able to actually have the "worry" of what to buy family and friends because I have the means to do so. In light of the real problems others are facing, my angst over gift-giving seems rather trivial.

I know I sound like a real Grinch; I'm not. Once I got into the swing of things, I bought gifts that I do hope my family and friends will enjoy. I look forward to giving those gifts and seeing them opened on Christmas morning, but the best part of the day will be the time we spend together and the memories we create.

But even though I will give and receive gifts and will cherish the time with family and friends, here's what I really want for Christmas. I want to know - deeply understand - what it meant for Jesus to leave Heaven to take the most hazardous journey human beings can take - natural birth - to experience life both as God and man.

I want to understand that Mary and Joseph didn't commit to the romanticized version of the Christmas story we've grown up with, but rather to a life they knew would lead to ridicule from their society and most likely a "you're on your own" birth of their first child in conditions far less than ideal. They may have been visited by adoring shepherds and wise men and angels, but they also had to run from their homeland to live as refugees to protect that child. Mary and Joseph knew that being chosen by God for this most sacred appointment did not mean living the life of privilege; they learned what it means to live by faith, to listen to messengers sent from God, to parent not only as earthly parents but also as parents submitted to God's direction and plan for their very "unique" son Jesus.

I want to be so altered in my thinking about Christmas that I grasp more completely that Jesus came for all mankind, not just those who look like me, behave as I do, have what I have (or more), or are otherwise pleasing to my way of thinking. I want to understand to the point of putting into action that Jesus came to "...save that which was lost" (Matthew 18:11). When Jesus returns, I want to have been found faithful, I want him to be able to put me in with the "sheep" who fed the hungry and gave the thirsty something to drink; who clothed those needing clothing and visited the sick and imprisoned (Matthew 25:31-46).

I am thankful for all my material blessings, but I want to possess a heart full of thanksgiving for the gift of a Savior, for the promise of eternal life. I want to be so transformed in my thinking that every day I will be submitted to serve the One who came to serve. For me, if I can become that person, I will have come to understand Christmas and will celebrate it each day. I will have received the greatest gift ever!

Mary Did You Know - Mark Lowry

Heavenly Father, thank you for unconditional love and your desire to so want us to be restored to your family that you made the ultimate sacrifice - the gift of your son Jesus, his life, that we might be saved and spend all eternity with you. I pray that each day I will celebrate by seeking to serve you and others, to give back for all you have given me.

Parenting - Fast Food or Home Cookin'

It’s kind of difficult to imagine a day when feeding a family required growing the ingredients, preserving them for future use, and starting the actual meal as the sun was coming up because it was going to take that long for the whole thing to come together and be ready when the family walked through the door hungry – and that was just breakfast! Admittedly, I’m glad I didn’t have to go through all that to feed my family, but my girls do know the difference between fast food and “cooking from scratch”! I am blessed to have been raised among some pretty good cooks. My grandmother’s homemade rolls were coveted by anyone who’d ever had them; my mom’s banana cake is the best I’ve ever eaten; and bless those sainted southern women who pulled out all the stops for those Sunday dinner-on-the-ground meals (we prayed the preacher would cut it short so we could eat!). That heritage drove me to try to learn to cook like those women and preserve their skills.

I wish I could say I mastered their effortless talents in the kitchen. After years of practice, I can make acceptable hot rolls, cinnamon rolls, and blackberry cobbler, and I can finesse my way around a kitchen to make plain home cooking, but I still don’t have their ability to just throw stuff in bowl without looking at a recipe and produce “heaven on a plate.” That comes from daily practice over years of feeding a family without the modern conveniences of pre-packaged foods, fast food restaurants, and microwaves. Home cookin’ takes time and work, and no substitutes can match the results.

Another lesson I learned from those women is that there’s no fast way to learn to walk with the Lord. That too comes from daily practice, year after year. There’s no substitute for the time spent growing and preserving the “ingredients” that make for a strong Christian life that provides the nourishment necessary for every moment of each day.

In our instant everything world, we may be tempted to practice “drive-through” time with our Father. I wonder if we don’t expect to drive up to the order board, tell God what we want, and pull up to the window and have Him hand us a bag with the answer in it. Do we expect to develop our spiritual strength by filling up on “fast-food” experiences that we consume hurriedly as we rush from one appointment to another?

The women who fed me “home cookin’” are the same women whose lives showed me what it means to become in every sense of the word a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ. There’s no substitute for the time it takes to learn the “ingredients of God’s word” and how He puts them together to make a “meal worth eating.” They experienced both joy and suffering, making them strong and developing in them big, bold, unwavering faith. They gained the strength to stand firm in whom they believed (Romans 8:38-39; II Timothy 1:12), and what a lesson that has been for me.

As we go about “feeding” our children each day, let’s consider what they are learning from us. Do they see us rush through the day as fast-food consumers of God’s word and time with Him, or do they observe us spending time “cooking from scratch,” allowing Him to nourish us?

If it’s true that we are what we eat, I pray that we will choose to eat from the Bread of Life and share the love for His “home cookin’” with our children.

Lord, we don't want to be "fast-food" Christians. We want to spend time with You allowing You to feed and nurture us so that we grow strong in You. Please let us be mindful that we are setting an example that our children will follow. Help us to give them the recipe for "strong bodies" - time spent with You and in your word.

Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional and bountiful love for us.