Parenting - Examining the Culture of "Entitlement"

Read the daily newspaper, watch any news show, scan the internet blog posts, or watch people in public and you will no doubt see people who believe themselves to possess the "gift of entitlement." Just this morning, headlines shared the news that insurance fraud is up during these desperate economic times. A tiny little "human interest" story was tucked into one page relating the actions of a thrill-seeking 60-something male who walked through a Walmart thumping little kids on the head with his keys. Stories of robberies are sprinkled among accounts of "nations warring against nations." All of this makes for some pretty dismal reading and gives people like me the opportunity for deep reflection on what's at the root of all these situations. Not to over-simplify or minimize the gravity of any of the aforementioned (and the millions not mentioned) accounts, I do believe that the source lies in the hearts of people. Human nature tends toward a "I deserve this" mentality. When let run its course, this "gift of entitlement" produces hurtful results, both for the "entitled" and those who are it's victims.

The Bible begins with a vivid example - Adam and Eve. Eve decided God was holding out on her, denying her and Adam access to the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. You know the outcome; Eve felt "entitled" to have her eyes opened, so off she went to test the fruit and invite Adam to join her. We have struggled with the knowledge of good and evil ever since. Arguing that no one but Eve was hurt in this little transaction is impossible!

Another story involves a man, Haman, who had been elevated by King Ahasuerus to second in command. Haman really embraced his "gift," to the point that when Mordecai, a devoted follower of the God of Israel, refused to bow down to him, he finagled a King-decreed punishment for Mordecai and all Jews - they were to be killed! Haman had nothing to lose and everything to gain; he felt he deserved this kind of honor. This is a fascinating story of self-deception and what happens when an individual is convinced of his invincibility. The short version is that Haman's moment of glory - the one for which he is most remembered - was his hanging from the gallows he had built for Mordecai! Not only was Haman destroyed, so were his ten sons and hundreds of enemies of the Jews. One man's sense of entitlement led not only to his own demise but to that of others. 

Buying into the notion that self-serving actions don't hurt self and others is deliberate self-deception that leads to ruin. It's sin. It comes from the heart. Mark 7:20-23 provides a bleak picture of the heart of man, the desires that reside there that defile. Among the list are things like theft, covetousness, pride, deceit, and foolishness. Any one of these can lead people to convince themselves that they are justified in whatever they are doing because they "deserve it." The thought of the hurt to others and to self is buried deep and ignored. The results are destruction.

We can be seduced by the experiences in our lives to become one of the many who claim the "gift of entitlement," taking matters into our own hands, or we can turn our attention to God's word and what he promises. Matthew 10:30-33,39 and 16:24-27 promise that we are of great value and if we take up the cross of discipleship we may lose our lives for Christ's sake but we will also gain them and be rewarded by our Heavenly Father. Earlier in Matthew we're promised that our obedience in secret will be openly rewarded by God (6:1-8), and we're warned to "lay up treasures" in Heaven because "...where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (6:19-21). 

We may be be tempted to get out ahead of God and take what we believe to be ours, but we need to wait! Self-promotion leads to self-destruction. We only hurt ourselves and others. God promises great things for us, not only in this life but in the one to come, if we will trust him (I John 3:1-2,22; 4:4; 5:14-15).


Lord, I'm impatient. I sometimes want what I want NOW and assume that I have a "right" to it! That's not your way, though. You have instructed us to put others before ourselves and to trust you to take care of all our needs. You know when we need promoting and when we need to stay where we are. You know when to reward us and how. I pray for a heart that is fully surrendered to you and strength to remain humble. Amen.

Parenting - Strength Training: More Than a New Year's Resolution

I'm a regular at the YMCA, and I run. When January 1 rolls around every year, I know that we "regulars" are going to be in competition for our favorite machines and weights with the "new year resolution crowd." I also know that in a few weeks the interruption to my routine will have ended because many of the "newbies" will have "grown weary in well-doing." I too have to guard against the temptation to slack off because I am certain that as soon as I fail in my faithfulness to my fitness routine, I will become one of those who "grow weary" and lose the resolution to stay strong.


Being a Christian, requires "strength" training 24/7, 365 days of the year. We aren't able to let down our guard or become lazy. Following Christ requires that we not go on "auto-pilot." We are running a race that has an eternal prize for those who run to win (I Corinthians 9:24-27). It's when we are out of condition, when we are weak, that stuff happens.  


Before Jesus launched his public ministry, he was led into the wilderness by the Spirit and tested by Satan (Luke 4:1-13). Jesus fasted 40 days and 40 nights before the Devil tempted him with 3 propositions. Satan taunted Jesus, in his weakened physical state, telling him that if he really were God's son he should command the stones to become bread. When Jesus didn't succumb, the Devil tried twice more to trap Jesus by suggesting he jump from a high place, since the angels would save him, and that Jesus could possess all the kingdoms of this world if he would worship Satan. In all three situations, Jesus resisted the temptations and defeated the Devil at his game by quoting God's word.

Jesus "stayed strong" when Satan confronted him. For every temptation that the Devil threw at him, Jesus refuted him with Truth, but Jesus didn't enter this time of testing unprepared. Luke 4:1 says he went into the wilderness full of the Holy Spirit; he was led there by the Spirit. He wasn't alone, and he wasn't without strength and endurance when he was tired and weak from not having eaten for 40 days and nights and from the Devil's tests.

We too are tested, and generally the "big tests" come when we are in our most weakened state. The Devil knows our "soft spots" and attacks. He isn't necessarily blatant but is more inclined to twist truth or to use subtlety, just as he did in testing Jesus. He manipulated scripture. This is the way Satan works. It's the tactic he used with Eve in the Garden, and he's still successfully using his methods on us today.

If we are to stand firm in our confession of faith in times of strength and weakness, here are some things we need to know:

• Anyone wanting to live a godly life will be persecuted (II Timothy 3:12). We must be prepared for what is inevitable. Satan isn't content to leave us alone once we determine to live for Christ. He's looking for company to share his eternity (I Peter 5:8). He may promise what the human ego craves - fame, fortune, power - but it comes with a very high price and the rewards are short lived.
• We have Truth on our side, and we must rely on the Holy Spirit to give us discernment to recognize Truth from the Devil's lies. Paul reminds Timothy that some people will look for teachers to feed them "spiritual junk food" but to not be distracted by what is false (II Timothy 4:3-4). 
• The Holy Spirit is with us to teach us and help us to remember God's word (John 14:26; Luke 12:12). God has provided a Helper, the Holy Spirit, for all times of our lives; we have to do our part, though, and study God's word and hide it in our hearts so that when we are being tempted or are going through difficult times, the Holy Spirit can cause us to remember it.
• We have a strong defense, but it's our responsibility to prepare. Ephesians 6:12-18 (The Message) puts it this way:

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. 

Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

As we set out to begin a new year, we must determine and stay true to that resolve to be strong in our walk with the Lord. Our strength comes from the Lord (Philippians 4:13), and we are "conquerors" (Romans 8:37).

Heavenly Father, thank you for providing all we require to "live strong" in our walk with you. I pray that we will be diligent in spending time with You, in learning your word, and in putting it into practice in our lives. As we live out our faith, let our children and all with whom we interact see You at work in and through us. May they learn dependence upon You and see your faithfulness to us in how we live our lives. In your name we pray, Amen.