Parenting - Being a Friend Like Jesus Takes TIME!

"I don't have time" seems to be the refrain sung by so many of us today. I hear it from myself, among my colleagues, from the kids at school, at home - everywhere! We have gotten ourselves so busy doing stuff that we have reached a state of such fatigue that we really don't have time for what matters. Even when we do try to find the time for what's important, we give those things - and people - only a fraction of our attention because we're so frazzled and have our mind on everything we aren't doing that needs to be done! 

If anyone had a legitimate right to say, "I don't have time," it was Jesus. He was busy! He was sent to save the world and disciple a group of men and women to lead the Church once he left for Heaven, yet he still took time for his friends. 

I think we can safely argue that Jesus's friends were not limited to that small band of men he traveled around with. In other words, if Jesus had Facebook or Twitter, his friend list would have been astronomical! Therefore, when Jesus set the example for friendship by taking time to invest deeply in his friends, he was expecting that we do the same. In fact, Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) to point out that everyone is our "neighbor," not just those people who fit into our social set.

In John 21, Jesus meets with his disciples one last time before ascending to Heaven. After a night of fishing but not catching anything, the disciples were headed into shore. Jesus, whom they didn't recognize, was standing on the beach and told them to cast their nets again. They did and brought up a net-load of fish. Then the disciples recognized him (he'd done this for them once before). Peter jumped into the water and headed straight for Jesus. When the others joined them, Jesus prepared breakfast. Jesus took care of their physical hunger and then attended to matters of the heart. 

Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. Each time, Peter professed his love, and each time Jesus commanded Peter to feed or shepherd his sheep. The interesting thing about this exchange is that the first two times Jesus questioned Peter regarding his love, Jesus used the form of the word love that implies deep spiritual love, obedience to God's commandments because of that love. Peter affirmed each time his affection, using the lesser meaning of the word, fondness. The last time Jesus asked, he too used the weaker of the two definitions, but I don't think it's because he doubted that Peter loved him at the much deeper, spiritual level. Peter's self-confidence was deeply shaken; he'd betrayed Jesus. The incredible thing about Jesus, though, is that he knew Peter, beyond appearances, and called him to shepherd his sheep, to lead the Church. Jesus knew that Peter would have that deep abiding love for his Savior that would cause him to be obedient and devote his life to serving God and others.

As a Christ-follower, we are commanded to be a friend like Jesus. That means we are to love God and love others (Matthew 22:37-39). That takes time! It's messy! It's sacrificial! It's risky! It's nothing short of what Jesus does for us! As we move through our day-to-day lives, we need to evaluate what is taking our time. If those things are keeping us from spending time with the Lord, then we need to re-think their importance. If we are so busy that we can't see the needs of the people around us - our family members, our friends, our colleagues, our fellow Christians, strangers - then we aren't fulfilling what we're expected to do as Christians. 

Just as the disciples and early Christians weren't left unequipped to be friends like Jesus, neither are we. In John 14:12-27, Jesus told his disciples that he would send a Comforter, and Helper, for us. He knows our lives, he knows what we have to accomplish each day, and he also knows what he's called us to be in this life - Jesus with skin on. He knows, and he equips. We have to determine to love (agape) him. Then, trust God for the rest - and the rest (Matthew 11:28).

Lord, we are so thankful that when we have lost confidence in ourselves, you haven't. You look past our flaws and see the beauty of your creation and what we can be in you. Thank you for taking the time to lead each of us to a deeper understanding of who you are and who you want us to be. Thank you for your gracious friendship.

Please help us to slow down and be a friend to those around us. Let us see with your eyes and share your love with others. Thank you for the Holy Spirit who equips us to serve you and others. Amen. 

Parenting - Being a Friend Like Jesus

Our children at church are learning what it means to be a friend like Jesus. The operating definition is "Friendship: Spending time with someone you trust and enjoy." They will be learning, through the Easter story, how Jesus befriended his disciples and followers. 

The first two lessons teach that a friend loves no matter what and a friend helps you believe. Truly Jesus proved he loved no matter what by taking upon himself the sin of every human being and dying on the cross. He taught his followers that he would die but that he would rise again. He spent time showing them who he was - the Son of God, the Messiah - but, even Peter who walked on the water with Jesus had difficulty wrapping his head around the idea that Jesus would rise from the dead! Thomas refused to believe that Jesus was alive and insisted on seeing the wounds before he'd believe.

When I read the stories of how the people who knew Jesus best reacted when he appeared to them after his resurrection, I have to chuckle. I wonder if Jesus ever wanted to say, "Well, duh! I told you no grave could hold me! Didn't you believe me!" Instead, he patiently revealed himself to them again and again before commissioning them to be witnesses to the world (Mark 16:14-16). He loved them no matter how frustrating they were in their unbelief, and he took every effort to ensure that they did believe.

Jesus sets the bar high for being a friend! I don't mind being with people as long as they are enjoyable and trustworthy! It's when they start being problematic that I want to cut and run. Yet, Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity," and we are to lay down our lives for our friends (John 15:13). But Jesus's kind of friendship goes beyond how we treat people we like. We're told it's nothing special to show love to people we love; the real deal is when we love those who aren't so easy to love (Luke 6:27-35). That's the example of friendship Jesus set for us to follow.

I recall the words to an old worship chorus that says, "To be like Jesus, to be like Jesus; All I ask, to be like Him...." When I put into context what that lyric is saying, I wonder if I could sing it and really mean it. If I want to be like Jesus, and I do, then I'm going to have to work on my friendship skills! Thankfully, Jesus patiently teaches me to be a friend by loving me no matter what and helping me to believe. He treats me the way he expects me to treat others.

As we seek to be like Jesus, he will give us opportunities to develop the deep love for others that will enable us to be "...a friend that sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24).


Lord, thank you for being our friend. In a world where we sometimes feel friendless, we know that you are our faithful, loving friend. Thank you for the example you have set for us. You haven't asked us to do anything that you won't equip us to do, so Lord, please give us the strength and the grace to be a friend to everyone - no matter what. In your name, Amen.