Parenting - All I Want for Christmas Is ....

Christmas has been on my mind a lot recently! I know that isn't exactly a profound revelation given that we are in the thick of the holiday season, but I've been seriously preoccupied this year with the whole notion of how we do Christmas.

I started months ago begging my adult children for their "Christmas lists" so that I would know how to purchase for them. They had trouble getting those lists to me; the response to the question, "What do you want for Christmas?" was generally, "I don't know."

As the actual shopping for just the right gifts commenced, I just got irritated. I love my family, I want to give them "good gifts," but the feeling I had was that these kids have everything they need and a whole lot of what they want. They are blessed to be well-educated and well-employed; those material blessings extend to my grandchild. She really doesn't need yet another toy. This "shopping binge" resembled the feeling I have when I over-indulge in some decadent dessert - it was great while I was doing it, but when it was over, not so much! Too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing.

I examined why I was feeling so Scrooge-like about Christmas and decided it had something to do with what's going on in the world around us - growing numbers of people we know without jobs, people losing their homes, folks without health insurance. You get the idea. I am blessed to be able to actually have the "worry" of what to buy family and friends because I have the means to do so. In light of the real problems others are facing, my angst over gift-giving seems rather trivial.

I know I sound like a real Grinch; I'm not. Once I got into the swing of things, I bought gifts that I do hope my family and friends will enjoy. I look forward to giving those gifts and seeing them opened on Christmas morning, but the best part of the day will be the time we spend together and the memories we create.

But even though I will give and receive gifts and will cherish the time with family and friends, here's what I really want for Christmas. I want to know - deeply understand - what it meant for Jesus to leave Heaven to take the most hazardous journey human beings can take - natural birth - to experience life both as God and man.

I want to understand that Mary and Joseph didn't commit to the romanticized version of the Christmas story we've grown up with, but rather to a life they knew would lead to ridicule from their society and most likely a "you're on your own" birth of their first child in conditions far less than ideal. They may have been visited by adoring shepherds and wise men and angels, but they also had to run from their homeland to live as refugees to protect that child. Mary and Joseph knew that being chosen by God for this most sacred appointment did not mean living the life of privilege; they learned what it means to live by faith, to listen to messengers sent from God, to parent not only as earthly parents but also as parents submitted to God's direction and plan for their very "unique" son Jesus.

I want to be so altered in my thinking about Christmas that I grasp more completely that Jesus came for all mankind, not just those who look like me, behave as I do, have what I have (or more), or are otherwise pleasing to my way of thinking. I want to understand to the point of putting into action that Jesus came to "...save that which was lost" (Matthew 18:11). When Jesus returns, I want to have been found faithful, I want him to be able to put me in with the "sheep" who fed the hungry and gave the thirsty something to drink; who clothed those needing clothing and visited the sick and imprisoned (Matthew 25:31-46).

I am thankful for all my material blessings, but I want to possess a heart full of thanksgiving for the gift of a Savior, for the promise of eternal life. I want to be so transformed in my thinking that every day I will be submitted to serve the One who came to serve. For me, if I can become that person, I will have come to understand Christmas and will celebrate it each day. I will have received the greatest gift ever!

Mary Did You Know - Mark Lowry

Heavenly Father, thank you for unconditional love and your desire to so want us to be restored to your family that you made the ultimate sacrifice - the gift of your son Jesus, his life, that we might be saved and spend all eternity with you. I pray that each day I will celebrate by seeking to serve you and others, to give back for all you have given me.

Parenting - There's a Hole in the Bucket!

I am re-reading Richard Stearns' The Hole in Our Gospel and somehow made one of those strange brain connections to an old children's song "There's a Hole in the Bucket." Now the song is stuck in my head, and I don't think it will stop playing until I do something with those lyrics!

The gist of the song, for those of you far too young to remember it, is a conversation between Henry and Liza regarding a hole in Henry's bucket. Liza suggests that Henry repair the hole by using straw, but Henry says the straw is too long. Liza suggests cutting the straw, but Henry isn't sure what to use to make the cut. Liza recommends he use his ax, but Henry says it's not sharp enough; Liza tells him to sharpen it, he doesn't know what to use. She tells him to use a stone; he counters with the fact that the stone is too dry, so Liza tells him to wet the stone. Well, you can imagine the outcome. Henry can't wet the stone because there's a hole in the bucket; thus, he can't draw water into the bucket and on and on and on.

I have always hated that song! Henry isn't exactly a problem-solver or a creative thinker and really doesn't appear to be too motivated to remedy what, back in the day, was a real problem - he had a hole in his bucket!

Other than the similarities in title, the connection between "There's a Hole in the Bucket" and The Hole in Our Gospel may not be particularly obvious. Stearns believes that as Christians we have a gaping hole that prevents us from fulfilling the purpose for which we are called. In effect, we have the "bucket," our salvation, but it isn't functioning as intended because we fail to make our faith public; too many of us aren't committed to being "Jesus with skin on" so that those who don't know Christ can learn who He is through what we say and do. That's the hole that is making the bucket far from useful.

When Jesus ascended into Heaven, he issued this commission to his disciples: "And He said to them, Go into all the world and preach and publish openly the good news (the Gospel) to every creature [of the whole human race]" (Mark 16:15). If this command had been to His apostles only, you and I may never have heard of the Good News; therefore, we must assume that God intends for all of us who are His disciples to "preach and publish openly" to others just as someone did for us.

As parents, the most important people with whom we want to share the Gospel is with our children. Our children learn most powerfully from us. Actively living our faith before them is critical if they are to embrace Christianity for themselves. Children are like Henry's bucket; we can fill them to the brim with the knowledge and understanding of who God is so that they are fulfilling their purpose and are useful, or we can stand around, wring our hands, come up with excuses for why we can't.

Each of us has a place that only God can fill. If we don't fill it with Him, we will fill it with other things. We will never be satisfied; our "bucket" won't hold water. Our children are just like us. If we don't teach them what should go into their bucket, they will attempt to fill it. Their world (and ours) offers them plenty of substitutes, but there is nothing that replaces the love of God in their lives.

Instead of hoping that our children will come to salvation "by osmosis," let's seal the hole in our Gospel by actively leading them to Christ so that one day we aren't like Henry wondering what to do about the holes in their buckets.

Lord, light a fire under us! Help us to get active in our faith, taking up the cross, following You, and telling our children and others about You. It's not enough to just hope that our children will one day live for You; we must disciple them so they will choose to live for You and in turn disciple others.

Thank You for the opportunity to lead our children to a relationship with You. Amen.

Parenting - Raising Oak Trees or Tumbleweeds

When I was young, I experienced one of the great hurricanes to hit south Texas. We lived about 100 miles inland in a big two-storied house with a wrap around porch. The yard was expansive and was shaded by centuries-old oak trees. When the horrific winds of the hurricane blew inland, those magnificent trees literally bent to the ground, but they weren't uprooted or destroyed. Their deep-rooted strength held them firm through the relentless battering.

In Jeremiah 17, we are given a warning about what happens when we put our trust in people rather than in God. Jeremiah says that the person who ignores God and places his faith in man will be "...like a tumbleweed on the prairie, out of touch with the good earth...living rootless and aimless in a land where nothing grows" (Jeremiah 17:5-6).

On the other hand, the person who trusts and has his hope in the Lord will be "...like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers— never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf, serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season" (Jeremiah 17:7-8).

This message is one that parents must take to heart. Children are like trees. We can choose to plant them in fertile soil where they will be nourished and grow deep roots to sustain them, or we can put them in the ground to grow with little attention, resulting in a plant that withers and dies or becomes tumbleweed that is subject to the winds that blow.

A tree that is healthy is one that is planted in the right place to get the maximum nourishment and support from its environment. When a tree is first planted, it needs nutrients and water from sources other than the ground. It gets regular attention to remove disease or insects that might harm its growth potential. A healthy young tree is sometimes staked to protect it from wind, but eventually the support is removed so the tree can develop resiliency to withstand the winds. Trees that take root and grow strong are those that have been pruned and have had the "sucker plants" removed in just the right way and at just the right time of development. The trees that stand through the centuries are those that have been shaped for their purpose; they have survived where others have not.

From the moment a child enters our lives, we must begin the "husbandry" necessary to ensure that they are deeply rooted in Christ. This is intentional and on-going. Our role is to ensure that they are being "fed" God's word, that it is being deeply rooted in their hearts (Psalm 119:11) and that they are "planted" in a place that is appropriate to their lifetime sustenance (Psalm 1). We have the solemn responsibility of providing Godly support for our children, protecting them from the storms of life, while teaching them that God is their strength, always present to help (Psalm 46:1). Our role includes being the gardener who prunes and shapes our children that they might become who they are uniquely designed to be. We do this through the principles by which we live, by correction, discipline, and boundaries we set, and by the ways in which we feed their souls with our words and actions (Proverbs 3:11-12, Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 19:18, Proverbs 22:6,15, Proverbs 29:15, 17, Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21).

There's a reason I don't garden; it's hard work and takes time. Parenting is hard work and takes time, but parenting is also investing in the lives of our children so that when they are no longer in our direct care, they will have deep roots in the environment that will sustain them. They will be like those massive oak trees that took the hurricane force winds - they will bend, but they won't break because their strength comes from God (Psalm 121:2). They will be trees planted by the water, not tumbleweed blowing aimlessly in the wind.

Heavenly Father, thank you for being the Master Gardener in our lives. If we submit ourselves to your husbandry, we will never lack for nourishment; we will be deeply rooted in You, unmovable and bearing fruit.

Grant us the wisdom to raise our children so that they too develop deep roots in You, with faith in You to stand firm and strong no matter what life brings them.

We praise and thank You, Lord. Amen.

Love - No Greater Gift

When I learned I was to be a grandmother for the first time, I could hardly wait for the moment when Hadley Grace would make her debut. Even before she was born, my heart began to make a very special place for her. I loved her before I knew her, and from the moment she was born, I fell head over heals in love. I am shamelessly a smitten grandma! Hadley "owns" me!

Hadley's going to be a big sister soon. When I first heard the news, I wondered how I could ever love another grandchild as much as I love Hadley, but then I realized, he already has a place in my heart. He's already loved, and the love I have for him isn't taking away from the love I have for his big sister. My "love capacity" is simply increasing; I have room and space for more! These grandchildren - however many I am blessed to have - will all be my favorites and will have all my love.

I think our capacity to love is a gift from God. I can only imagine how much God loves each of us. He doesn't panic every time another one of us is born, wondering if He has enough love to go around; He doesn't wonder if He can love me as much as He loves someone else. The love God has for each of us is unlimited, it is unconditional, and it's never-failing. He knows us from our very beginning, He's wildly in love with us, and He wants only His best for us.

A familiar verse in the Bible says it like this, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16; I John 3:16). This gift is for each of us; no one is left out. His gift of love doesn't run dry; He has an unlimited supply. Because He loves us, we are his children (I John 3:1), and we have life through Him (I John 4:9). God loves us so much that He gave his son as a sacrifice for us that we might be restored into relationship with Him (I John 4:10). He made His love for us "real" in the gift He gave: "But God demonstrates his love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). We don't have to worry about whether or not God will stop loving us. Nothing can separate us from his love (Romans 8:38-39).

As we enter the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday seasons, we will have gift giving on our minds. The greatest gift that we can extend to another person is the gift of love. That may mean we learn to love ourselves and accept God's love for us. It may mean showing love to someone difficult to love or someone we don't even know. The bottom line is this - God gave us the capacity to love others so we can show (and know) unlimited love for Him, for others, and even for ourselves.

"Greater love has no one than this,
than to lay down one's life for his friends"
(John 15:13).

No Greater Love by Rachel Lampa

Thank you, Lord, for loving us unconditionally and without reservation. Please help us to learn to love as You love and to share the love You have given us with others. Help us to be generous in demonstrating your love.

Serving Others from Our "Need"

Do you marvel sometimes at what some people are able to accomplish with what appears to be so few resources? I've known women who created some of the best meals with what appeared to be next to nothing - real soul food - to feed the "hungry" who arrived unannounced, just in time for dinner. I've known people who lacked the polish of world-renowned ministers yet they won hundreds of people to the Lord. These followers of the Gospel served from their insufficiency, and God provided the abundance.

On two occasions, Jesus fed multitudes of men, women, and children with a few small fish and a few loaves of bread (Mark 6:32-44; Mark 8:1-9). He took "a little" and made it "much."

Both times when Jesus fed the multitudes, he and his disciples were tired, searching for some quiet time. Jesus had been teaching, preaching, and healing, and the people just kept coming to Him. He looked on them with a heart of compassion and saw their need - they were hungry, both physically and spiritually. He served from his place of need - he was tired; he needed time alone with his Father - but Jesus came to serve.

The first time Jesus fed the multitudes, his disciples wanted to send the people away to buy their own food; they weren't up for spending their money to feed them (Mark 6:37). Jesus asked what resources were available; the disciples had one little boy with 5 loaves of bread and 2 small fish. The disciples organized the people into groups, Jesus gave thanks for the loaves and fish, and then told the disciples to serve the people. All there ate until they were full; the leftovers filled 12 baskets!

When Jesus performed the "something from nothing" miracle again, the disciples had already seen him feed the 5,000 men (not counting the women and children) and walk on water; yet when He commanded them to feed the people, the disciples still wondered where they were going to find food for that many people in such a remote area! This time Jesus had 7 loaves and a few fish to work with, and again, He did what only He can do - He multiplied what seemed to be insufficient supplies and fed 4,000 men (plus women and children) until they were filled, with food to spare.

God never wastes an opportunity to teach us that He takes what we have to offer, as insignificant as it seems, and multiplies it to meet needs and to demonstrate His love. We may be the little boy who offered his 5 loaves and 2 small fish, or we may be the doubting, not-quite-ready for service disciples who didn't fully understand who their source was. Whoever we are, wherever we are in our walk with the Lord, God wants to use us. Our "basket" may seem empty of the ingredients necessary to feed those in need, but God is able to take what's there and create a meal sufficient to fill the hungry. All He requires is our faith and our obedience and our willingness to give from our limited resources. He does the rest.

As we enter this time of Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations, let's seek ways to serve others. Just as Jesus called his disciples to feed his sheep, we are called. When we yield our resources to God, we can expect Him to provide the increase, meet the needs of others, and reveal more of who He is. He will be glorified, and we will learn the miracle of servanthood and the blessings of sacrifice.

"Little is much, when God is in it."

God, You are good all the time. You're abundance is sufficient to multiply our limited supply. All you require is a servant's heart; You do the rest.

We pray that You will touch our hearts, show us where we are needed to serve, and then use us to help others. We are blessed; please put in us a desire to serve You by serving others, to use what You have given us that others might know You.

We ask all this in Your name. Amen.

Parenting - Being a Sacrifice

The words of a song I grew up listening to started running through my mind today - "Just suppose God searched through heaven, and couldn't find one willing to be, the supreme sacrifice that was needed, that would buy eternal life for you and me...." So, just suppose with me that God couldn't find anyone willing to leave heaven to live on earth and endure real hardships that ended in unjustified torture and death on a cross just so those same people - and all the rest of us - could be restored to God's family and have the eternal life which we were intended to live. How many of us would trade the "comforts of home" for the sake of people we don't know and some we do know?

But, of course, we don't have to suppose any such thing because we know that the Supreme Sacrifice was found and obediently gave up his life with his Father to live on earth among people just like us. Jesus lived a human existence. He knew hardships that I can't say I've experienced and some that I have. He died for something He didn't do. He sacrificed for people who don't always have the sense to fully appreciate what He gave up. He did all this because He was obedient to the cross, because we needed a perfect sacrifice if we were to be saved. God so loved us that He gave his only Son.

I have a comfortable home, my real needs are met, and I have stuff, but deep down inside, I don't want to be asked to sacrifice because I'm afraid of what God might ask of me. I have run like a maniac from the thought that God might call me into some kind of ministry (translate "missionary" or "preacher") because to me that is all about giving up stuff, the "comforts of home." Yet, I want the security of God's hand on my life and that of my family.

Lately, I've been thinking how arrogant we are to think that we can have God's blessings without living sacrificially. After all, He gave his Son for us; why should we be exempt from sacrifice? God doesn't ask us necessarily to live a life of poverty, but He does ask that we give our lives as living sacrifices, and that's going to look different for each of us because He has designed each of us for a divine purpose.

As parents, our children are watching our lives. They see whether or not we are "living sacrifices" or if we are "Christians of convenience." The times when we make the tough choice to do that "hard thing" God asks of us will be the times our children remember and draw from when life challenges them. How we respond to God's calling, His prompting in our lives, will set the stage for how our children will respond when they are called to give their lives to the Lord.

Let's proclaim as Joshua did: "...choose you this day whom ye will serve...; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:14-15)." This may mean sacrifice, but our reward is great, and God promises to provide for all our needs (also see Philippians 4:19) and be the strength we need to do all He asks of us.

Lord, I have so much to learn about living sacrificially. You have blessed me more than I can even tell. I owe you nothing less than my obedience to your desires for my life.

Please help us to give you first place in our lives. Help us to live before our children the joy of giving and the faith in knowing that You reward those who diligently seek You.

Lord, help us daily to give sacrificially of ourselves to those around us that they might see You and come to know you as their Lord and Savior. This we pray in your name, Amen.

Parenting - Fast Food or Home Cookin'

It’s kind of difficult to imagine a day when feeding a family required growing the ingredients, preserving them for future use, and starting the actual meal as the sun was coming up because it was going to take that long for the whole thing to come together and be ready when the family walked through the door hungry – and that was just breakfast! Admittedly, I’m glad I didn’t have to go through all that to feed my family, but my girls do know the difference between fast food and “cooking from scratch”! I am blessed to have been raised among some pretty good cooks. My grandmother’s homemade rolls were coveted by anyone who’d ever had them; my mom’s banana cake is the best I’ve ever eaten; and bless those sainted southern women who pulled out all the stops for those Sunday dinner-on-the-ground meals (we prayed the preacher would cut it short so we could eat!). That heritage drove me to try to learn to cook like those women and preserve their skills.

I wish I could say I mastered their effortless talents in the kitchen. After years of practice, I can make acceptable hot rolls, cinnamon rolls, and blackberry cobbler, and I can finesse my way around a kitchen to make plain home cooking, but I still don’t have their ability to just throw stuff in bowl without looking at a recipe and produce “heaven on a plate.” That comes from daily practice over years of feeding a family without the modern conveniences of pre-packaged foods, fast food restaurants, and microwaves. Home cookin’ takes time and work, and no substitutes can match the results.

Another lesson I learned from those women is that there’s no fast way to learn to walk with the Lord. That too comes from daily practice, year after year. There’s no substitute for the time spent growing and preserving the “ingredients” that make for a strong Christian life that provides the nourishment necessary for every moment of each day.

In our instant everything world, we may be tempted to practice “drive-through” time with our Father. I wonder if we don’t expect to drive up to the order board, tell God what we want, and pull up to the window and have Him hand us a bag with the answer in it. Do we expect to develop our spiritual strength by filling up on “fast-food” experiences that we consume hurriedly as we rush from one appointment to another?

The women who fed me “home cookin’” are the same women whose lives showed me what it means to become in every sense of the word a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ. There’s no substitute for the time it takes to learn the “ingredients of God’s word” and how He puts them together to make a “meal worth eating.” They experienced both joy and suffering, making them strong and developing in them big, bold, unwavering faith. They gained the strength to stand firm in whom they believed (Romans 8:38-39; II Timothy 1:12), and what a lesson that has been for me.

As we go about “feeding” our children each day, let’s consider what they are learning from us. Do they see us rush through the day as fast-food consumers of God’s word and time with Him, or do they observe us spending time “cooking from scratch,” allowing Him to nourish us?

If it’s true that we are what we eat, I pray that we will choose to eat from the Bread of Life and share the love for His “home cookin’” with our children.

Lord, we don't want to be "fast-food" Christians. We want to spend time with You allowing You to feed and nurture us so that we grow strong in You. Please let us be mindful that we are setting an example that our children will follow. Help us to give them the recipe for "strong bodies" - time spent with You and in your word.

Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional and bountiful love for us.

Parenting - Giving Your Children Away

If you're the parent of a 13-year old or a teenager, you may have had days where giving him or her away seemed like a really good idea! It's a lovely age, but thankfully, almost all of us have lived through it - as a kid and as a parent! Seriously, though, most of us couldn't imagine giving our children away. It's hard enough when they leave home for college. Yet, the Bible tells a story of a woman who gave her child away before he was ever born. It's the story of Hannah, Samuel's mom.

Hannah was the second wife of Elkanah, and she had no children. The first wife had kids, and she wasn't exactly empathetic with Hannah's sorrow; in fact, she was mean. Elkanah loved Hannah and favored her. He didn't seem the least bit upset that she hadn't produced progeny. But, Hannah wanted a baby so much so that when the family made their annual trip to the house of the Lord, she "wept bitterly" before the Lord, promising if God would give her a son that she would give him back, as soon as he was weaned, to serve God all the days of his life. Eli the priest saw her praying and accused her of being drunk. When she set him straight and explained her "complaint" before the Lord, Eli sent her away with these words, "...and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition...." Hannah ceased from her grieving, she ate, and her countenance was no longer sad (I Samuel 1:18). Her actions imply that she had faith that God would answer her prayer.

Sure enough, Hannah had a son, Samuel, and she kept her part of the bargain. As soon as Samuel was weaned, Hannah put together all the makings for a great offering to the Lord, packed up Samuel, and headed to the temple and Eli, the priest. They worshiped the Lord, and she left her son to serve God all his life.

Okay, really, how many of us could leave behind our toddler to be raised by a stranger? But Hannah's prayer to the Lord as she's leaving Samuel behind is amazing! She was rejoicing:

I'm bursting with God-news! I'm walking on air. I'm laughing at my rivals. I'm dancing my salvation.
^2-5 Nothing and no one is holy like God, no rock mountain like our God.

Every year, Hannah would make the journey with the family and take Samuel a new coat, and no where is there any indication that she ever regretted or wanted to break her covenant, and God, in His beautiful way, honored Hannah by giving her five more children.

Samuel had a calling on his life. From before his birth, he was dedicated to the Lord, and as soon as he was old enough to be separated from his mother, he was "in training" for that moment when God would call him into service.

I Samuel 2 tells how the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli the priest, that he grew before the Lord, and found favor with both the Lord and men. Interestingly, this was happening while all around him Eli's sons, who were of the priesthood, were dishonoring God and bringing down His judgment on their family.

When the time came for Samuel to fill the purpose for which he had been called, he was ready.

Most of us dedicate our young children to the Lord, but I wonder if we realize the full importance of that ceremony. I'm not sure I did when we dedicated our girls before the church congregation. I understood it was a solemn and sacred occasion, I knew that I wanted my girls to belong to the Lord, but I am certain I didn't reflect as deeply on the full meaning of my actions.

When Hannah dedicated Samuel to the Lord, she wasn't just giving her child away and placing responsibility for his nurturing on someone else. She invested in the life of her child to ensure that he would be ready to answer when God called and would respond willingly. She remained faithful to her God and to her promise and demonstrated her commitment by placing Samuel where he would learn from a young age how to serve God and how to know His voice. She believed God to do His part.

When we dedicate our children to God, we aren't just saying, "God, here they are. I promise to bring them to church and teach them right from wrong." We are entering a covenant with God to teach them to know Him and how to serve Him, to learn to sense His presence and to know His voice, to understand from an early age that they have a calling on their lives and that at the God-appointed moment, He will call them.

God will do His part; we must do ours. Giving our children away to God may mean giving up our plans and purposes. It certainly requires that we choose to live our lives sacrificially and according to God's Word because we are the stewards of the children we have dedicated into His service.

Heavenly Father, parenting is a sacred calling, and when we stop to think about the full weight of the responsibility, it's a little frightening. But, You are our example, your Word is our standard, and your Holy Spirit is our teacher and guide. You don't call us without equipping us for service.

As we dedicate our children to You, we want to dedicate ourselves as well and be willing to be sacrificial in serving our children. Let us be like You.

We pray these things, in your name. Amen.

Parenting - Raising a "Gifted" Child

Garrison Keillor, author and radio host, is known for his fictional hometown, Lake Wobegon where "...all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." This belief that people from Lake Wobegon are a cut above the rest of us mere mortals has resulted in a name for a very real human tendency to ascribe to ourselves achievements and capabilities superior to those of others; it's called the Lake Wobegon effect!

Years of being an educator and a parent have provided me with too many examples of parents believing their child deserves special treatment because he or she is "gifted" or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, those who believe their child will never amount to anything. Some children are exceptional; truly we do have geniuses and prodigies, but most of us, including our children, are just regular folks.

What has troubled me, though, is the often devastating results the Lake Wobegon effect, and its more extreme negative counterpoint, has on kids. Children take to heart what the parent believes to be true about them and behave accordingly. What I generally observed, regardless of the situation, were disappointed, frustrated, hurt, confused, and angry children, and parents who simply didn't understand what was wrong with their child. All were left feeling as if they didn't measure up.

Here's the good news - we're all gifted! I Corinthians 12 compares the body of Christ to the human body. Just as the human body is comprised of many intricate and complex parts so that it functions at peak performance, so does the Church; God has created each person with a very specific purpose, enabling the body of Christ to operate as He so designed it. No one member of the Church is more or less important than another; each has a significant and crucial role to play. In other words, regardless of who we are and how we measure on an intelligence scale, we all are key players in God's perfect plan.

Our children are gifted by God. We may not know specifically what those gifts are, but be assured that each child has been designed with a purpose. Our responsibility is to seek the Lord for direction as we raise our children. We need His wisdom to know how to guide them so that their gifts develop according to God's divine purpose for their lives. We can raise truly "gifted children" by leading them to know their Creator and by praying with them from a young age that God will develop in them His character and their unique purpose. He will give us direction in how to discipline, relate to, and provide for them so their talents and strengths grow according to His best for them.

In God's family, there is no Lake Wobegon effect; we all are precious in His sight, all exceptional and integral to His plan. When we are fully functioning in God's design for us, we will be more than "above average"; we will be "...perfect and complete in all the will of God. (Colossians 4:12)"

Lord, we don't always feel "special"; we don't always measure up to this world's standard of value. But, we are so thankful that to You, we are priceless. You created us lovingly and for a unique purpose.

Please help us to first know and understand and accept our value to You. Help us to see ourselves as You do. Then, please give us the divine wisdom to guide our children to become who You have created them to be. Help us to identify their strengths and parent them is such a way that their gifts will develop according to your plans.

You have entrusted us with Your precious children; help us to care for them according to Your word and Your ways. In your name we pray, Amen.

Parenting - Imprinting God's Character

I admit that sometimes what I read and what I see make me want to jump on my nearest soapbox and deliver my fiercest "what are you thinking" speech at the top of my lungs! But, then I realize I'd be wasting my breath! Who listens to a crazy person!

This week I read of some fabulous new technology for all those folks who want to give their children a head-start in their education and who also prefer to give birth to "calm" infants, ready to learn (New devices aim to help babies start learning before birth, Wichita Eagle, October 6, 2009). First, I have rarely seen a healthy infant who isn't born ready to learn; that's how God created us. Second, who deserves a "calm" infant! Babies are supposed to cry when they need and want something, and parents are supposed to respond appropriately so that over time, those babies learn to manage their needs independently (I think that's about the time when we send them off after they graduate from high school).

We seem to live in a time where our desire to "play God" is growing more apparent, and while our attempts to "be God" don't work, "playing God" with the development of our children scares me. Human beings are genuinely "fearfully and wonderfully made"; the human body is so magnificently complex that our tinkering with it, seemingly to enhance what God has already perfectly designed, is hubris of the most frightening kind.

Yet, we do have direction in how to influence the development of our children. Throughout the Bible, we are instructed to be "like Christ," to set the example for others, including our children, so they too will want to become followers of Christ. We are given a "best practice" through God's direction to the children of Israel to write His commandments on our own hearts and get them inside the hearts of our children; these are to be on-going "teachable moments" throughout every day, from sunup to sundown (Deuteronomy 6:7).

God made no mistakes when He designed the way we develop and learn - from conception to death. In fact, the reason we might be tempted to expose our unborn children to these new "teaching devices" is because from week 18 of their lives, they can hear mom's voice and activity going on inside and outside the womb. God made this possible for all kinds of reasons we and medical experts may or may not know, but we can be sure, there is divine purpose.

In John 10:27, Jesus says, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." He follows this by saying that he gives his sheep eternal life, that they will never perish, and no one can snatch His sheep from Him (John 10:28-29).

If a shepherd starts to imprint the sound of his voice on sheep from the earliest possible moment so they will follow him, the implications for us as parents is evident. From the very beginning of the lives of our children, they should hear us praying; they should experience the sounds of what it means to be in God's presence and among His people. Once they are born, their learning curve zooms, and that's when we begin to tell them and show them every moment of every day who God is and how He loves them. Just as our Shepherd leaves His imprint upon us, we must develop a godly imprint upon our children so that when they are old enough to make their own decisions (or at least think they are old enough), they will listen to and obey that familiar voice (Proverbs 22:6).

Children do respond to their environments and to the voices of those around them before they are ever born. They are sponges, absorbing all kinds of experiences; they are "learning machines." If we want to give our children a real "edge" on life, let's plug them into Jesus earlier rather than later. Let's develop our own character so that we reflect Jesus to them, and let's imprint them with a desire to know Him from an early age. It's never too early to teach a child who Jesus is.

Lord, the way You have created us is truly amazing. Your intricate design is beyond our ability to comprehend and recreate. You are God, and we are not, and for that, I am ever grateful.

Thank you for giving us our children. Please place in our hearts an urgency to teach them who You are from a young age and lead them to a relationship with You.

Put in us an understanding of the critical role we play as parents, grandparents, and people in the lives of children in ensuring that they know You and that their "education" can't be left to "chance"; we must diligently lead them to You.

We ask for your wisdom and guidance as we grow in You and as we lead our children.

Thank You, Lord. Amen.

Parenting - Understanding Abstract Art

A friend and I visited a local bookstore recently to check out an art exhibit featuring work of an artist from our community. When we saw the art was abstract, we both had to admit we didn't "get it." Since both of us consider ourselves to be rather well-educated (we were fighting a very strong urge to look at the books rather than the art), we did make an attempt to explain what we appreciated about the pieces on display. The colors in some were of particular appeal, we could discern shapes and design, we noticed that framing mattered, and, of course, the price tag attached to each painting assured us that these were valuable works of art! But, in the end, we acknowledged the gift of the artist along with our own lack of understanding - and then succumbed to our love of the written word!

Our experience with abstract art became a metaphor for me. How often do we look at people and fail to recognize their purpose or their value? We see colors and shapes; we even notice their "frame," but we just don't see how they fit. Sometimes those folks are living in our own homes. Do you ever wonder who that teenager requesting funds is? He can't be your kid! Your son wears pants that fit and a belt to hold them up! Your daughter wouldn't turn her beautiful blonde hair that color! What may be even more disconcerting is when we look in the mirror and wonder who exactly we are or of what possible value we hold.

Yet, here's the truth - had my friend and I been with the artist, she could have explained her work, she would have told us the intricacies of shape and color and design and the deliberation that determined the framing. She could have told us the great investment she made to create each unique piece. We may not have become fans, but we would have understood.

Just as we needed the artist, or someone equally well-versed in abstract art, to teach us and guide us, each of us needs the Master Artist to open our understanding of his greatest works of art - his children.

Psalms 119:73a says, "Your hands made me and formed me," and in Isaiah 64:8, we are clay, and God is the potter, "...we are all the work of your hand." God has created us with such intricate design that while we may look abstract to others and to ourselves, we are a perfect work of art with a unique purpose.

The art my friend and I saw had value; some had been sold. Someone had seen the painting and decided it was perfect for a particular purpose. We too come with a price - the perfect, sinless life of Jesus Christ whose death on the cross redeemed us. His death and resurrection purchased us to fill a spot that only we can fill. It's the thing for which we have been created.

As we seek to understand the "works of art" we and others are, we must walk and talk with the Artist. II Timothy 3:16-17 tells us that God's word is provided for us to equip us for good work. We are "...his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works.... (Ephesians 2:10)." And, we are works in progress; God continues to put the "finishing touches" on His masterpieces: "And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.(Philippians 1:6)"

Each day ask God to give you an "eye for art," so that you can see His unique design and purpose for your life, the lives of your children, and those of people around you.

Heavenly Father, we don't always see nor are we able to appreciate the beauty of Your most loved creation. Help us to know who we are in You, and help us to value others as the unique works of art You have created.

Please help us to guide our children in learning that they are precious in your sight and that You have made them to be one of a kind to serve You as only they can.

Thank you for loving us so much. Help us to love You without reservation. In Your name we pray, Amen.

Parenting - Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

One of my favorite places to visit is the zoo. God's creative genius is apparent at every turn, serving to remind us that no two of His creatures are the same, and that includes each of us, His prized creation.

Psalm 139 proclaims that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made...intricately wrought," and that God knew our entire days before we were born and prepared them for us. In other words, God divinely designed each of us for a purpose that only we are commissioned to fulfill. He mapped out our entire lives so that each day serves to develop in us the strengths and talents He gave us that will enable us to serve our purpose.

Imagine being one of a kind, priceless, irreplaceable, precious. That's who we are in God's eyes. He values us and wants to help us develop the talents and strengths woven into our beings; He provides all we need to become our unique selves, fulfilling our God-appointed mission. Our part is to believe that we are made in His image, that He has assigned us a divine purpose, and that He will use all the days of our lives to perfect those strengths and talents in us, guiding us to use them according to His plan.

If you struggle believing that you are precious to God, begin to study His word. Ask Him to speak to your heart and to show you who you are in Him. Pray for God to reveal to you each day your God-given strengths and talents and purpose. Pray for the ability to really see how God uses you. Rely on Him, and acknowledge that God doesn't make mistakes, and He doesn't make junk! He loves YOU.

As we begin to live in this truth, we will be better equipped to teach and reinforce in our children that they too are one of a kind, lovingly designed by God as someone special.

Psalm 139 - recited by Michael W. Smith

Thank you, Lord, for giving each of us unique qualities and a purpose that only we can fulfill with Your help. Thank you for your love for us and your patience as we learn to become who You have designed us to be.

Please encourage our hearts and strengthen us to serve You according to Your plan. We choose to honor You with our lives.

Help us as we teach our children to be who You want them to be. In Your name we pray, Amen.

Parenting - Knowing When to Duck

Proverbs 22:3 says, "A prudent person sees trouble coming and ducks; a simpleton walks in blindly and is clobbered. (The Message)" I don't know how many times I have been the "simpleton." I knew that what I was about to do wasn't going to result in a good outcome, but I still chose to follow my wisdom rather than God's. I got clobbered!

Regardless of how well we understand and even believe the truth of that verse, we still seem to think that we can beat the odds - be smarter than the rules that govern the situation. God knows this about us; that's possibly why we have so many passages in the Bible to instruct us, so many examples from which to learn. He really wants us to know when to duck!

One way we can see trouble coming and know it's trouble is to put the Word of God in our hearts. The Message translation of Psalms 119:105 says, "By your words I can see where I'm going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path." In that same Psalm, the writer says that he has hidden God's word in his heart so he won't sin (v11).

II Timothy 2:15, Paul instructs his "son in the faith," Timothy, to study - do his best - to present himself to God "approved, unashamed" and as one who teaches the "word of truth" correctly. Paul wants Timothy to know the Word of God and be so diligent in applying the Word that he will know when to duck rather than get clobbered by the "godless chatter" going on around him (see II Timothy 2:14-18).

By praying and studying what God says, we must prepare ourselves daily to be godly moms and dads. Our world has plenty of convenient answers to how we raise our children. Be on guard; weigh the advice against God's Word:

^23-27 Keep vigilant watch over your heart;
that's where life starts.
Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth;
avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.
Keep your eyes straight ahead;
ignore all sideshow distractions.
Watch your step,
and the road will stretch out smooth before you.
Look neither right nor left;
leave evil in the dust. (Proverbs 4:23-27, The Message)

Prepare yourself by hiding God's Word in your heart. Trust Him to direct you in all the situations of your life, even your parenting (Proverbs 3:5-12). God's Holy Spirit will bring to your remembrance His Word (John 14:26).

Knowing when to duck is wisdom (Proverbs 9:10)!

Lord, I'm so thankful that you gave us your Word to guide us, to teach us, the protect us, to answer our questions. Please put in our hearts a desire to study your Word and hide it in our hearts.

When we don't know what to do, please let our first response be to ask You, seeking your Word for the help we need. Help us to recognize the voice of your Holy Spirit bringing your Word to our memories and prompting us to follow your wisdom and not our own.

Thank you for providing us wisdom. Give us the courage to practice your wisdom and know when to duck!

In Your Name we pray, Amen.

Parenting - Being an Example of Wisdom

In a time where there are countless sources of "wisdom," discerning what is truth and teaching our children the value of wisdom can seem impossible. We live in a world that has increasingly led us to believe that life should come easy, that we shouldn't have to know struggle to achieve, that we all deserve immediate gratification and resolution to problems, and that each of us is right and truth is relative. The cacophony of advice becomes like a Tower of Babel - so many voices coming from every direction, creating confusion rather than peace. Yet, if we are seriously seeking wisdom, we will shut out the voices of our modern-day wise men and women and will listen to what God tells us; He provides wisdom for all situations and in just one book, the Bible.

In II Chronicles 10:1-19, the account of Solomon's son Jeroboam reveals a young man who chose to ignore the wisdom of his elders for the popular counsel of his peers. The story actually is a continuation his father's story - Solomon's departure from God's wisdom to reliance on his own. Both situations led to the same outcome - destruction. Proverbs 13:20 puts the situation rather bluntly: "Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble."

I wish I could claim that I have always made the right choices and set the right example for my children. I would like to be able to say that I paid attention to the wisdom of my elders instead of sometimes following the trends of my generation. I realize now that not everything my parents' and grandparents' generations taught was without value; I just didn't take the time or have the maturity or desire to understand the wisdom of what they believed and taught. On the other hand, not everything they held to be "truth" was; their generations were no more immune to popular cultural influences than ours are. The comfort I take from this understanding is that those things that are wise transcend generations and have their foundations in the Word of God. God's truth remains unchanged through all time.

As parents, we have the responsibility to set the example for our children. If we desire our children to be wise, we have to be wise; if we want them to be like Christ, we have to be like Him. This doesn't mean that we will "get it right" every day and in all situations. What it does mean, though, is that we will put our reliance in the Lord and seek wisdom from Him and His word. It means we commit ourselves first to seeking God's ways and living according to His will for our lives and then ensuring that we are teaching our children through how we live and how we parent them.

God has provided us with the tools we need to be successful. We have his Word, the Holy Spirit to reveal it to us and to guide us, and godly people who can support us. We aren't in this alone.

The Bible isn't short of words of wisdom. As you go through your day, find time to sit with God and His word; ask the Holy Spirit for understanding. God is not unaware of your needs or your situation; He will provide you the guidance you need. You will find that as you study and listen and intentionally walk with the Lord, you will know wisdom. You will become the example of who you want your children to be - a fully devoted follower of Christ.

Thank you, Lord, for providing all we need to be your followers. You created us, You have a unique purpose for us, and You have ensured that we will have what we need to become who You intend us to be.

You have given us a calling to raise our children to know and serve You. Please lead and direct us as we study your word, seek your wisdom, and become more like You before our children. Help us to lead them to know You.

We pray this in Your name, Amen.

Some verses to get you started:
Proverbs 24:3
Proverbs 22:6
Proverbs 23:12
Psalm 111:10
Matthew 6:25-34
Ephesians 6:4
James 1:5

Wisdom: Where to Find It

When I reflect on the individuals with whom I sought to be when I was in turmoil, I realize that these are people who, by biblical standards, were wise. They are people for whom I had, and still do have, great respect; I wanted to be these people. Rarely were they successful and influential by the world's standards, they weren't famous, but in God's economy, they were rich and were people who made significant difference in lives for all eternity.

The Queen of Sheba found herself seeking wisdom (I Kings 10:1-13). She'd heard about Solomon and even doubted he was "all that," but after trekking a great distance with an impressive entourage, the Queen discovered wisdom as a result of spending time with Solomon. What she heard and saw convinced her that wisdom is worth seeking. Proverbs 8:10-11 tells us that wisdom is what we should seek rather than the riches of precious metals and stones.

In James 3:17, the author tells us that God's wisdom is pure and that purity leads us to be peace-loving, considerate, submissive, merciful, full of good fruits, impartial, and sincere. As a parent, or anyone living in this world, this kind of wisdom, yielding these results is certainly worth seeking. James 1:5 tells us to ask God for wisdom and that He will give it to us with abundance; yet we will only learn to be wise by depending upon God (Proverbs 3:5-6).

As the Queen of Sheba observed, the results of Solomon's God-given wisdom was a life of peace among his people and with his neighboring nations, a happy and prosperous people, and a recognition of his God.

Many of us attempt to navigate this life and parenting in our own wisdom. Rarely does this lead to the outcomes we most desire. Proverbs 14:12 puts into context what happens when we persist in "having it our own way": "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Those are very strong words; yet I can attest to the fact that when I have insisted in using my own wise thinking, I have always experienced some kind of "death."

We want the best for our children; many of us have the resources to purchase anything our children desire, including the "best" schools, the newest technology, the finest neighborhoods. Nothing is wrong with ensuring that our children are treated well, but as we seek to parent with God's wisdom, let's determine to focus on those things that will provide eternal good. As we learn to rely on God's direction and seek and obey His wisdom, we will experience the attributes of wisdom in our lives and in the lives of our children.

Just as the Queen of Sheba went to great lengths to find wisdom, we too must trust and rely daily on God for His direction, we must be faithful to apply His wisdom in all parts of our lives, and we must teach our children to seek God's wisdom. When we do these things, we and our families will know God's peace, provision, blessings, and favor.

Wisdom doesn't arrive on our doorstep, delivered by the UPS guy; it comes through daily experiences. Our Heavenly Father will give us the direction we need to make the right decisions and stand firm with peace that goes beyond our understanding (Phil. 4:7).

Heavenly Father, thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for going to great lengths to teach us to seek wisdom and to be wise according to your leading in our lives.

We pray for the desire to operate in your wisdom, to pray for wisdom daily, and to be obedient as you lead. Remind us, through your Holy Spirit, to lean on your understanding and not our own.

Thank you for being the One we can trust as we parent our children.





Source: The IVP New Testament Commentary Series

Parenting - Wisdom's Training Ground

When I read through the story of Solomon asking God for wisdom, I related to him. His realization that he had just been designated king of God's chosen people seemed not too unlike mine when I learned I was to become a parent for the first time. What did I know about being a mom! All kinds of questions and fears popped into my head, but obviously, there was no going back; I was going to be a mom, and that wasn't going to change any time soon. Solomon was about to be king, and he needed "just-in-time learning" from the one who called him! Little did I know, as a mom, I too would need that kind of "learning intervention" almost daily.

Solomon had a special visitation. God appeared to him in a dream inviting Solomon to ask anything from Him. Solomon's response is worth noting. First, he acknowledged that God is faithful (I King 3:6) because God showed mercy and kindness to David, Solomon's father, by making his son king. Then, Solomon admitted his need: "...but I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties." Solomon realized that he had just been called to be leader to a people who God had chosen and with whom He had made a covenant. He was not to be just any king; he was the king to God's children. He knew that to lead these people, he would need more than his human abilities; he would need divine intervention. So, he asked for "...an understanding (God-leaning) heart..." and to be able to "...discern between good and bad. (I Kings 3:9)"

The events that follow just after Solomon's encounter with God put him right in the middle of a situation where he had to exercise his new "wisdom muscles." Two women - harlots, according to the Bible - came before him requesting that he determine which of them was the actual mother to the child they had with them. Each woman protested that she was the birth mother, and no witness existed to provide evidence supporting one or the other. Solomon made sure he had the story straight and then requested that a sword be brought out to divide the child, giving each woman a half of the child. One woman plead for the life of the child, relinquishing her claim to him so he might live, and the other thought this rather extreme solution sounded pretty fair. Based upon their reactions, Solomon deduced who truly was the mother and awarded the child to the one who plead for his life.

Something that struck me as I read the exchange between the two women and Solomon was that as king, he could have chosen not to mediate because he could have seen them as not worth his time. They were harlots. Instead of discounting their dispute, he judged wisely. Solomon's actions as a wise and just king awed his people and they respected him.

So much can be learned from just this one story. Like Solomon, when we become parents, we have to admit, we don't have any idea what we're doing, and yet we have entered into a role that supersedes all others. We need wisdom; we need God's help!

When our children come to us - usually on those days when we are totally frazzled - with one of their "did/did not" disputes, we may be quick to send them away with a short retort, and understandably so. But these times may be the ones where we say a quick prayer for patience and wisdom. Our kids watch us, just as Solomon's people watched him, and they learn about wisdom and justice from how we deal with their disputes. And, these situations that seem so annoying to us are the training grounds God uses to build our "wisdom muscles."

God promises to give us what we need. James 1:5 specifically addresses our need for wisdom: "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." When we feel uncertain, we can stand firm in our knowledge that God keeps His promises, He is faithful, and He does not withhold any of His good gifts from us (Luke 11:9-10; 11-13). Proverbs 3:5-6 provides direction: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

We won't just automatically become wise, but God will give us opportunities to need wisdom and will provide the answers we need. As our children grow, we will need deeper wisdom; thankfully God starts us with the "small stuff" in preparation for the bigger situations that will come.

Lord, I'm so thankful that you equip us to serve You, that you provide the wisdom we need for all situations.

Thank you for allowing us to parent our children. Please strengthen us as we call on You and rely on You. Teach us Your ways, and be ever present, guiding us as we teach our children about You.